As a freelance journalist, I'm used to repitching feature ideas that have been rejected or ignored.
Sometimes, one I'd practically given up on finds a new lease of life with a title I've wanted to get into for ages. And sometimes, they continue to be rejected and ignored.
Either way, I've learned that sending out more ideas is the best way of handling it. Waiting for a response without taking other actions would be pretty depressing.
Still, I was amazed by the audacity of Sarah Carter's (Shark) character, Haylen, on CSI: NY. Having sent three CVs to the lab and hearing nothing back, she didn't think:
. they don't want me
. they have enough staff
. they've given the job to someone more qualified
. there's something I don't know about but I must not be right for the role
Fictional Haylen thought Obviously, they really want me but they just can't afford me. I know, I'll apply for government funding. That way, they can hire me and I'll get paid from someone else's budget...
I thought Mac might still decide against signing off on Haylen joining the team. (It's early days and while I've so far resisted reading future episode guides, it wouldn't surprise me if she turns out to be a stalker or some other kind of problem).
But she's joined.
In an unscientific poll, I've asked a few people how they'd handle their CV being ignored after sending it, three times, to their dream employer.
No one has suggested going over potential boss's head to apply for funding but maybe Haylen can inspire you to be a little more proactive (though maybe not quite so extreme)...
Monday, 8 February 2010
Friday, 5 February 2010
Do you shop to cheer yourself up?
According to a study from the University of Hertfordshire, 79% of women see shopping as a way to cheer themselves up. 40% said depression makes them spend.
But, as anyone who's ever had any debt knows, this cheer up strategy can cost more than just money - from sleepless nights worrying about paying off credit cards to relationship angst if you're keeping your spending from your partner.
Women aren't the only ones who spend money when they know they'd be better off saving.
Are you an emotional overspender?
Before heading for the checkout (in a shop or online), ask yourself what you're really trying to buy. Is it the item you're buying or the lifestyle you'd like to have?
If you're trying to buy into more than the actual thing you're buying, think of other things you can do instead.
Think about the way you feel when you decide to go shopping.
If you're physically going, what prompted you to walk into the shop? Were you walking past and saw something calling to you from inside? Did you set out deliberately to shop?
If shopping online, what were you doing before you ended up on your favourite online shopping site?
By getting to know your own triggers, you'll be better able to identify the times when you're trying to use shopping as a fix and when you're simply buying something that you need, want and can afford.
To help see your spending habits more clearly, start a log.
To begin with, note every single expense within minutes of making it (if you wait until the evening, you'll probably have forgotten a lot).
Then, once a week, take some time to review it.
No one's suggesting you stop spending altogether, but by shopping a bit more mindfully, you'll wind up much happier with the things you purchase.
How were you feeling when you bought ___?
Is there anything you now regret buying?
What could you have done instead to have a longer term (and cheaper) effect on your mood?
But, as anyone who's ever had any debt knows, this cheer up strategy can cost more than just money - from sleepless nights worrying about paying off credit cards to relationship angst if you're keeping your spending from your partner.
Women aren't the only ones who spend money when they know they'd be better off saving.
Are you an emotional overspender?
Before heading for the checkout (in a shop or online), ask yourself what you're really trying to buy. Is it the item you're buying or the lifestyle you'd like to have?
If you're trying to buy into more than the actual thing you're buying, think of other things you can do instead.
Think about the way you feel when you decide to go shopping.
If you're physically going, what prompted you to walk into the shop? Were you walking past and saw something calling to you from inside? Did you set out deliberately to shop?
If shopping online, what were you doing before you ended up on your favourite online shopping site?
By getting to know your own triggers, you'll be better able to identify the times when you're trying to use shopping as a fix and when you're simply buying something that you need, want and can afford.
To help see your spending habits more clearly, start a log.
To begin with, note every single expense within minutes of making it (if you wait until the evening, you'll probably have forgotten a lot).
Then, once a week, take some time to review it.
No one's suggesting you stop spending altogether, but by shopping a bit more mindfully, you'll wind up much happier with the things you purchase.
How were you feeling when you bought ___?
Is there anything you now regret buying?
What could you have done instead to have a longer term (and cheaper) effect on your mood?
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Penelope Cruz's Oscar
I read a lovely interview with Penelope Cruz in Stylist magazine.
Unlike all the stars who say they keep their Oscars hidden away / they never look at them / they've even forgotten where it is, Penelope says she moves it from room to room, trying to make a decision.
"I even took it to the beach one day! It's like being five when you finally get a toy you've been asking for!"
I love the idea of her enjoying her accomplishment. Allowing the success of the award to settle in every cell.
What do you do when you get something you've been working towards?
Do you immediately move on to the next thing or allow yourself some time to celebrate?
Rewards are very important as they offer you the chance to sit with the accomplishment of whatever you've just achieved.
Whether your reward is a cup of tea after decluttering a junk drawer, a night out after finishing a big assignment or even a holiday after a big project, remember that it's important to keep your word to yourself.
Can you imagine if you had a child and you promised that when they ____ you'd give them ____ and then you didn't keep your word?
When you've been very busy and working hard, taking a break can feel quite challenging but you owe it to yourself to let yourself breathe a bit before taking on your next challenge.
Unlike all the stars who say they keep their Oscars hidden away / they never look at them / they've even forgotten where it is, Penelope says she moves it from room to room, trying to make a decision.
"I even took it to the beach one day! It's like being five when you finally get a toy you've been asking for!"
I love the idea of her enjoying her accomplishment. Allowing the success of the award to settle in every cell.
What do you do when you get something you've been working towards?
Do you immediately move on to the next thing or allow yourself some time to celebrate?
Rewards are very important as they offer you the chance to sit with the accomplishment of whatever you've just achieved.
Whether your reward is a cup of tea after decluttering a junk drawer, a night out after finishing a big assignment or even a holiday after a big project, remember that it's important to keep your word to yourself.
Can you imagine if you had a child and you promised that when they ____ you'd give them ____ and then you didn't keep your word?
When you've been very busy and working hard, taking a break can feel quite challenging but you owe it to yourself to let yourself breathe a bit before taking on your next challenge.
Friday, 29 January 2010
Whose hands is your life in?
"Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one is to blame" - Erica Jong
Is there an area of your life which would be perfect if only _________ would do _____?
Forget it. You know by now that the only person you can change is yourself.
How can you take more responsibility for this area of your life?
How can you remind yourself of all the resources you have instead of allowing yourself to feel helpless and out of control?
Acknowledging the power you have, day to day, to affect your own destiny will make you far happier than fixating on the things that you can't control.
Stephen Covey talks about the Circle of Concern (all the things you may worry about) and Circle of Influence (the things you can actually change or affect in some way).
Ideally, you can expand your Circle of Influence by taking more action around the things that concern you.
This may involved talking to people who can help with a situation too big to handle yourself. It might even writing to a politician or getting involved with a campaigning group to allow your voice to be heard.
Decide to take charge. Anytime you want to blame someone, get into the habit of thinking about the kind of action you'd like to take if you were in their situation as well as actions you can take in your own situation.
Is there an area of your life which would be perfect if only _________ would do _____?
Forget it. You know by now that the only person you can change is yourself.
How can you take more responsibility for this area of your life?
How can you remind yourself of all the resources you have instead of allowing yourself to feel helpless and out of control?
Acknowledging the power you have, day to day, to affect your own destiny will make you far happier than fixating on the things that you can't control.
Stephen Covey talks about the Circle of Concern (all the things you may worry about) and Circle of Influence (the things you can actually change or affect in some way).
Ideally, you can expand your Circle of Influence by taking more action around the things that concern you.
This may involved talking to people who can help with a situation too big to handle yourself. It might even writing to a politician or getting involved with a campaigning group to allow your voice to be heard.
Decide to take charge. Anytime you want to blame someone, get into the habit of thinking about the kind of action you'd like to take if you were in their situation as well as actions you can take in your own situation.
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
Have you heard of magical thinking?
When I first heard this expression, I thought it was a good thing, like the Law of Attraction squared.
But really, it's when we know what we want or need from a situation but instead of communicating openly with those in our lives, we wish they'd just understand.
Without us having to ask.
Remember the famous scene from The Break Up when Jennifer Aniston tells Vince Vaughn she wants him to want to do the washing up?
No one wants to wash up. (Although, as Monica, her old roomate in Friends, Courteney Cox Arquette seemed to.) Aniston's character probably didn't enjoy it (if she had, it wouldn't have been an issue).
How might she have communicated things in a way that would have been more likely to get him to respond in the way she hoped?
What are you refusing to ask for right now?
Are you sulking or holding back in some way because you feel let down that you're not getting it?
Whether you want your boss to offer you a pay rise (without actually putting your case forward or even letting her know you'd appreciate one) or your partner to do something, start thinking of ways you can be more direct.
But really, it's when we know what we want or need from a situation but instead of communicating openly with those in our lives, we wish they'd just understand.
Without us having to ask.
Remember the famous scene from The Break Up when Jennifer Aniston tells Vince Vaughn she wants him to want to do the washing up?
No one wants to wash up. (Although, as Monica, her old roomate in Friends, Courteney Cox Arquette seemed to.) Aniston's character probably didn't enjoy it (if she had, it wouldn't have been an issue).
How might she have communicated things in a way that would have been more likely to get him to respond in the way she hoped?
What are you refusing to ask for right now?
Are you sulking or holding back in some way because you feel let down that you're not getting it?
Whether you want your boss to offer you a pay rise (without actually putting your case forward or even letting her know you'd appreciate one) or your partner to do something, start thinking of ways you can be more direct.
Monday, 25 January 2010
Why I love telephone / Skype coaching
I've always preferred telephone coaching to face to face coaching.
Maybe it's just me but I feel I can somehow listen more deeply on the phone as well as being able to connect with clients who live further afield.
And it seems to allow my clients to dig that bit deeper. With face to face coaching, we're very aware of the surroundings and telephone coaching helps cut out some of those distractions.
They are also in control of their environment (and can make sure they make the call away from any noise or distractions).
Telephone coaching also allows much more flexibility and I'm able to offer more evening appointments than I ever could with face to face coaching.
With the wonders of the web (www.Skype.com), clients can call free using Skype and if they also have a webcam, can benefit from virtual face to face coaching without the hassle of travelling.
To find out more about my telephone / Skype coaching services, please visit www.applecoaching.com
Maybe it's just me but I feel I can somehow listen more deeply on the phone as well as being able to connect with clients who live further afield.
And it seems to allow my clients to dig that bit deeper. With face to face coaching, we're very aware of the surroundings and telephone coaching helps cut out some of those distractions.
They are also in control of their environment (and can make sure they make the call away from any noise or distractions).
Telephone coaching also allows much more flexibility and I'm able to offer more evening appointments than I ever could with face to face coaching.
With the wonders of the web (www.Skype.com), clients can call free using Skype and if they also have a webcam, can benefit from virtual face to face coaching without the hassle of travelling.
To find out more about my telephone / Skype coaching services, please visit www.applecoaching.com
Sunday, 24 January 2010
Please tell me what you think of my new design website
You can visit it at www.applecoaching.com and tell me what you think by emailing or commenting on this blog (have now enabled comments).
Thanks in advance for all your comments and suggestions.
Thanks in advance for all your comments and suggestions.
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