Instead of beating yourself up the next time you feel irritable, see if you can decipher your mood's clues.
It may be basic like needing to get more sleep / exercise /certain nutrients.
Or it may point to life changes that would make you happier.
Think about the things that make you feel cranky on a regular basis. Make a list:
1)
2)
3)
Do you notice any patterns or themes?
Give yourself permission to be cranky and use that to help make the world, and your life, better.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008.
Thursday, 31 July 2008
Monday, 28 July 2008
Courting controversy and authentic expression
Have you ever watched in horror or awe as people (in your daily life or someone you read about or see on TV) express the most outlanding opinions or wear outrageous outfits?
No one's suggesting you start arguing or clashing colours / patterns just for the sake of it. But do you ever bite your tongue or wear something staid and later wish you'd expressed yourself more?
To become more daring, ask yourself:
1) Whose outrageousness do you admire most? (Add as many names as possible here)
2) How can you bring some of their chutzpah into your own life or wardrobe?
It may be that you'd like to be more you as you live your life. Or maybe you wish you had the courage to defend other people when someone bolshy makes a hurtful remark.
Challenge yourself to start speaking your truth more often.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008.
No one's suggesting you start arguing or clashing colours / patterns just for the sake of it. But do you ever bite your tongue or wear something staid and later wish you'd expressed yourself more?
To become more daring, ask yourself:
1) Whose outrageousness do you admire most? (Add as many names as possible here)
2) How can you bring some of their chutzpah into your own life or wardrobe?
It may be that you'd like to be more you as you live your life. Or maybe you wish you had the courage to defend other people when someone bolshy makes a hurtful remark.
Challenge yourself to start speaking your truth more often.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008.
Thursday, 24 July 2008
What kind of support do you have?
Sanjeev Baskhar tells a joke:
PARENT: What do you want to be when you grow up?
CHILD: An actor.
PARENT: It's pronounced doctor.
Bearing in mind that however supportive (or not) your parents were, you're in control of your life now, are you being held back by other people's expectations for you?
Too many people live their whole lives doing work or even married to people they never loved. If you're not already, when are you going to start living for yourself?
What do you want to be when you "grow up"? Who supports you (or would if they knew how serious you are)? How can you spend more time with them?
Who will never understand your goals? How can you avoid letting them rain on your parade?
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008.
PARENT: What do you want to be when you grow up?
CHILD: An actor.
PARENT: It's pronounced doctor.
Bearing in mind that however supportive (or not) your parents were, you're in control of your life now, are you being held back by other people's expectations for you?
Too many people live their whole lives doing work or even married to people they never loved. If you're not already, when are you going to start living for yourself?
What do you want to be when you "grow up"? Who supports you (or would if they knew how serious you are)? How can you spend more time with them?
Who will never understand your goals? How can you avoid letting them rain on your parade?
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008.
Monday, 21 July 2008
Wise words from JK Rowling
"There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you." JK Rowling
It sounds obvious but many people still (even in their 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond) say "if only" as if they didn't have a chance.
Yes, our early years are especially formative and it takes effort and discipline to overcome setbacks. But the alternative is prolonging that misery.
So take charge.
What three things would you like to rewrite from your childhood (traumas you wished hadn't happened, things you wish your parents had encouraged, support in a particular area...):
1)
2)
3)
Bearing in mind that we can't turn back time, how can you start giving yourself the support / protection / guidance you've been longing for?
What can you start doing differently right now?
Taking responsibility is scary but it'll be worth it.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
It sounds obvious but many people still (even in their 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond) say "if only" as if they didn't have a chance.
Yes, our early years are especially formative and it takes effort and discipline to overcome setbacks. But the alternative is prolonging that misery.
So take charge.
What three things would you like to rewrite from your childhood (traumas you wished hadn't happened, things you wish your parents had encouraged, support in a particular area...):
1)
2)
3)
Bearing in mind that we can't turn back time, how can you start giving yourself the support / protection / guidance you've been longing for?
What can you start doing differently right now?
Taking responsibility is scary but it'll be worth it.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
Thursday, 17 July 2008
Exercises for your heart
When was the last time you followed your heart?
You may have been brought up to over-ride your heart's messages for you by paying more attention to your head.
But sometimes, doing something that will feel good is just what all of you needs. What makes your heart feel better?
Spending unexpected time with your partner? Enjoying time with your baby / kids (instead of being focused on how you need to get everyone out of the door)? Playing with your dog / cat / horse? Watching cloud formations in the sky from your back on the grass?
List three things you don't normally "have time" for:
1)
2)
3)
Fit them in and start feeling better instantly.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
You may have been brought up to over-ride your heart's messages for you by paying more attention to your head.
But sometimes, doing something that will feel good is just what all of you needs. What makes your heart feel better?
Spending unexpected time with your partner? Enjoying time with your baby / kids (instead of being focused on how you need to get everyone out of the door)? Playing with your dog / cat / horse? Watching cloud formations in the sky from your back on the grass?
List three things you don't normally "have time" for:
1)
2)
3)
Fit them in and start feeling better instantly.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
Monday, 14 July 2008
Decode your dreams
As well as helping you figure out what your waking dreams are (what kind of work / relationships / home etc. do you want to create?), coaching can help you understand what your night time dreams are trying to tell you.
By understanding what your unconscious mind is trying to say, you can save yourself a lot of effort as you go about your daily life.
I've always had really odd dreams. By the time I was a teenager, I'd given up on dream dictionaries as the definitions felt so arbitrary. How could a cat mean the same thing for someone who had a cat phobia, a cat lover and someone who may have recently lost their cat? Who could believe that a dream involving cigarettes would mean the same for a non smoker, a heavy smoker and someone who'd quit?
Are you interested in learning more about what your dreams mean for you and techniques to help you decode future dreams yourself? I hope you'll find my new Decode Your Dreams Breakthrough Session of interest.
You can find out more by visiting http://www.applecoaching.com/phdi/p1.nsf/supppages/1138?opendocument&part=2 or emailing eve@applecoaching.com
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
By understanding what your unconscious mind is trying to say, you can save yourself a lot of effort as you go about your daily life.
I've always had really odd dreams. By the time I was a teenager, I'd given up on dream dictionaries as the definitions felt so arbitrary. How could a cat mean the same thing for someone who had a cat phobia, a cat lover and someone who may have recently lost their cat? Who could believe that a dream involving cigarettes would mean the same for a non smoker, a heavy smoker and someone who'd quit?
Are you interested in learning more about what your dreams mean for you and techniques to help you decode future dreams yourself? I hope you'll find my new Decode Your Dreams Breakthrough Session of interest.
You can find out more by visiting http://www.applecoaching.com/phdi/p1.nsf/supppages/1138?opendocument&part=2 or emailing eve@applecoaching.com
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Thursday, 10 July 2008
What's the nicest thing you could do for yourself right now?
Often, we know exactly what would make us feel better / help us move towards our goals. And yet, we try to rationalise restraint.
I regularly see clients get better results when I've helped them prioritise themselves and their own wellbeing but I still have to give myself a pep talk when it comes to treating myself with the same care.
So I've just booked myself a back massage for tomorrow. Yes, I'll inevitably be working late to make up for the time out of my office but I know it's worth it. It's been years since my last massage and when I find myself writing a lot about wellbeing, I know I need to be extra vigilant to avoid neglecting my own.
Just ask yourself the question: "What is the nicest thing I could do for myself right now?" and let the answer surprise you.
You know what you need. It might be the opportunity to shut (or leave open) your car windows and belt out your favourite songs at the top of your lungs? It might be leaving the house or office to go for a walk? Connecting with a fun friend who makes you laugh?
Be nice to yourself and schedule it in.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008.
I regularly see clients get better results when I've helped them prioritise themselves and their own wellbeing but I still have to give myself a pep talk when it comes to treating myself with the same care.
So I've just booked myself a back massage for tomorrow. Yes, I'll inevitably be working late to make up for the time out of my office but I know it's worth it. It's been years since my last massage and when I find myself writing a lot about wellbeing, I know I need to be extra vigilant to avoid neglecting my own.
Just ask yourself the question: "What is the nicest thing I could do for myself right now?" and let the answer surprise you.
You know what you need. It might be the opportunity to shut (or leave open) your car windows and belt out your favourite songs at the top of your lungs? It might be leaving the house or office to go for a walk? Connecting with a fun friend who makes you laugh?
Be nice to yourself and schedule it in.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008.
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