Yesterday was (this hemisphere's) Spring Equinox.
As you sit in the sun (or at least begin to imagine it as a more distinct possibility than even a few days ago), instead of just thinking that your lawn, if you have one, needs mowing, think about the other things you're growing.
How can you grow more of what you love?
Who are the friends and family who make you feel like the best version of yourself?
What books / magazines / films / TV shows and so on bring out the best in you?
Which hobbies do you lose yourself in most easily, emerging feeling creative, energised and refreshed?
Weeds can be as beautiful as cultivated flowers (more so, often) but if you feel that your life is over-run, think of ways to cut back.
Focus your energy on the new projects you want to get off the ground this spring. Think about the sunshine and water equivalents (support wise) you can provide to help yourself grow...
Monday, 22 March 2010
Friday, 19 March 2010
How's your communication with the people you love?
You can read Cathy's AOL blog (including some of my tips) at http://www.lemondrop.co.uk/2010/03/17/the-a-z-of-love-c-is-for-communication
Monday, 15 March 2010
Why (if you do) do you wear make-up?
Is it a bit of fun or an effort to hide behind it?
You can read Cathy Winston's aol blog (with some tips from me) here - http://uk.stylelist.com/2010/03/15/are-you-caught-in-the-cosmetics-trap/
You can read Cathy Winston's aol blog (with some tips from me) here - http://uk.stylelist.com/2010/03/15/are-you-caught-in-the-cosmetics-trap/
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
"Today, if you become frightened, instead become inspired"
I always love Grey's Anatomy. I can't think of any other programme I've ever seen where such drive and ambition, even from women, is shown as a good thing.
Last week's episode (Give Peace a Chance) was, I think, my all time favourite. We got away from all the bickering of the past few weeks and everyone was focused on an impossible (banned by the Chief) surgery on an inoperable tumour.
Don't want to give anything away for people who plan to see it but I loved the sentiment of turning fear into inspiration.
The patient coaxed the doctor (McDreamy / Derek Shepherd - aka "the world's foremost neurosurgeon") into doing the surgery in a very calm but certain way (hard to pull off when you've been told you're going to die or end up paralysed): "Today, if you become frightened, instead become inspired".
When you think of your own life, is there a situation that leaps out at you as one which has or could inspire you but instead often frightens you into avoiding the risk?
What support do you need as you take this leap?
McDreamy needed support to get through the extremely long surgery and although he'd "gone rogue", had dozens of interns keen to help. The difference between the talks with the surgeons who were inspired and amazed and the risk-averse few was obvious.
Thinking back to your own life, have you spoken about the situation to people close to you?
How can you keep it from those who pour cold water on your dreams and instead get the support from people who truly want to see you succeed (and maybe even be a part of it themselves)?
What can you do differently, from today, to turn your fears into inspiration?
Last week's episode (Give Peace a Chance) was, I think, my all time favourite. We got away from all the bickering of the past few weeks and everyone was focused on an impossible (banned by the Chief) surgery on an inoperable tumour.
Don't want to give anything away for people who plan to see it but I loved the sentiment of turning fear into inspiration.
The patient coaxed the doctor (McDreamy / Derek Shepherd - aka "the world's foremost neurosurgeon") into doing the surgery in a very calm but certain way (hard to pull off when you've been told you're going to die or end up paralysed): "Today, if you become frightened, instead become inspired".
When you think of your own life, is there a situation that leaps out at you as one which has or could inspire you but instead often frightens you into avoiding the risk?
What support do you need as you take this leap?
McDreamy needed support to get through the extremely long surgery and although he'd "gone rogue", had dozens of interns keen to help. The difference between the talks with the surgeons who were inspired and amazed and the risk-averse few was obvious.
Thinking back to your own life, have you spoken about the situation to people close to you?
How can you keep it from those who pour cold water on your dreams and instead get the support from people who truly want to see you succeed (and maybe even be a part of it themselves)?
What can you do differently, from today, to turn your fears into inspiration?
Monday, 1 March 2010
What have you been putting off?
Martha Beck has an amusing saying: "Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can cancel altogether."
If you're feeling overwhelmed, take another look at your schedule / To Do list.
What can be cancelled?
What can someone else do?
What will you feel better for doing yourself?
If you don't already have a scheduling or To Do list system that works for you, free your brain now and write everything you can think of down.
I'd find it hard to function without my page to a day diary (I'm one of those people who loves ticking things off when completed). Some people like electronic planners, others, wall planners and some keep long lists which they add to and manage even though it may look chaotic from the outside. Some people write things down on their hands.
PostIt notes can help you get organised. If you know certain things have to be done but you're not yet sure when they need to be done or who by, PostIts can help you be more flexible with them without worrying about losing track.
You know yourself best. Experiment and hone your system so it supports you.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, take another look at your schedule / To Do list.
What can be cancelled?
What can someone else do?
What will you feel better for doing yourself?
If you don't already have a scheduling or To Do list system that works for you, free your brain now and write everything you can think of down.
I'd find it hard to function without my page to a day diary (I'm one of those people who loves ticking things off when completed). Some people like electronic planners, others, wall planners and some keep long lists which they add to and manage even though it may look chaotic from the outside. Some people write things down on their hands.
PostIt notes can help you get organised. If you know certain things have to be done but you're not yet sure when they need to be done or who by, PostIts can help you be more flexible with them without worrying about losing track.
You know yourself best. Experiment and hone your system so it supports you.
Friday, 26 February 2010
Using NLP in your language (in a way that doesn't make you sound like a loon)
Before I trained in NLP, I was a bit wary. I'd heard of it being used in sales to get people to buy things and so on and just didn't like that idea.
Fortunately, it's not about mind control or anything sinister like that.
The idea of trance put me off until I realised that I'd been using trance language on myself - with negative effects - for much of my life unconsciously.
Have you ever told yourself "I can't, I'm fat / stupid / useless" or anything else that does the opposite of motivating you to take action that could change your situation?
That's a form of trance language - you say it so often and in such a resigned, believing way, before you know it, you're acting that way.
Wouldn't it be better to tell yourself, "Of course I can do it!" (and, naturally, follow up this thought with an action plan - thinking alone won't get it done)?
Get into the habit of noticing your instant reactions to things. Are you using trance language on yourself? When you are, is it helping you or making things worse?
Another tip is known as the double bind. A sales person might use it like this: "Would you like to buy the green or the red?" or "Would you like to book for Monday or Wednesday?"
Someone who has no intention of buying either isn't going to suddenly decide to go with the red or Wednesday but if someone is already ready to buy, this phrasing can help.
A parent might ask their child, "Would you like to go to bed now or in half an hour?"
And the child who has agreed to go to bed in half an hour rather than now will be far less resistant when the time has come.
Other common uses are to avoid the use of negatives like "Don't _____" The idea behind this is that our brains cannot process the instruction without first imagining doing the very thing they're being told not to. No smoking makes you think of smoking.
You may want to experiment with saying what you want the person to do instead. For example, "Could you speak more quietly please?" rather than "Don't shout." "I'd really appreciate your being on time" as opposed to "Don't be late" and so on.
"Try" is another word to avoid whenever possible (unless you're playing rugby). If you say, "I'll try", if you think about it, there's probably already a little part of you making an excuse.
If you commit to doing it, you put more energy behind your intention and make getting up at stupid o'clock for an early morning swim / run (or whatever you're psyching yourself up for) far more likely.
It'll take practice and vigilance (I just deleted a couple of instances where I'd suggested try right here and I've been practicing for years!) but it's worth it.
Fortunately, it's not about mind control or anything sinister like that.
The idea of trance put me off until I realised that I'd been using trance language on myself - with negative effects - for much of my life unconsciously.
Have you ever told yourself "I can't, I'm fat / stupid / useless" or anything else that does the opposite of motivating you to take action that could change your situation?
That's a form of trance language - you say it so often and in such a resigned, believing way, before you know it, you're acting that way.
Wouldn't it be better to tell yourself, "Of course I can do it!" (and, naturally, follow up this thought with an action plan - thinking alone won't get it done)?
Get into the habit of noticing your instant reactions to things. Are you using trance language on yourself? When you are, is it helping you or making things worse?
Another tip is known as the double bind. A sales person might use it like this: "Would you like to buy the green or the red?" or "Would you like to book for Monday or Wednesday?"
Someone who has no intention of buying either isn't going to suddenly decide to go with the red or Wednesday but if someone is already ready to buy, this phrasing can help.
A parent might ask their child, "Would you like to go to bed now or in half an hour?"
And the child who has agreed to go to bed in half an hour rather than now will be far less resistant when the time has come.
Other common uses are to avoid the use of negatives like "Don't _____" The idea behind this is that our brains cannot process the instruction without first imagining doing the very thing they're being told not to. No smoking makes you think of smoking.
You may want to experiment with saying what you want the person to do instead. For example, "Could you speak more quietly please?" rather than "Don't shout." "I'd really appreciate your being on time" as opposed to "Don't be late" and so on.
"Try" is another word to avoid whenever possible (unless you're playing rugby). If you say, "I'll try", if you think about it, there's probably already a little part of you making an excuse.
If you commit to doing it, you put more energy behind your intention and make getting up at stupid o'clock for an early morning swim / run (or whatever you're psyching yourself up for) far more likely.
It'll take practice and vigilance (I just deleted a couple of instances where I'd suggested try right here and I've been practicing for years!) but it's worth it.
Monday, 22 February 2010
Do you ask for what you're worth at work?
How often have you asked for a pay raise at work?
If you work for yourself, do you charge what you're worth or too little?
When you have psyched yourself up to quote what you're worth or present reasons for being worth more to your company than you've been getting, how comfortable do you feel about it?
Do you think:
a) Sure, I wish they'd offered more without my having to ask but they know I'm worth every penny and I'm sure I'll get it. If not here, then somewhere else...
b) I feel so greedy. So many people have lost their jobs / I'm lucky to be working in a field I enjoy...
c) I hope this doesn't prompt them to fire me / never hire me again. And that they don't tell all their aquaintances how outrageous I was to ask...
Which person's attitude do you think would be most likely to get the new rates she or he hopes for?
How can you boost your own confidence more so you believe in your value to your employer / clients and customers?
Before going into that meeting / making that call / writing that email, can you boost your morale by reading testimonials, positive reviews, clients' comments and other things that remind you that you're great at your job?
If you worry "But I'm not great at my job", what specific areas could you use a revision course or extra training in? What would help you be better at your work?
What do your colleagues / bosses / clients / others you work with value most about you? If nothing springs to mind, can you ask a few trusted souls?
It may be that, on this occassion, you don't get more money. But by having raised it, your manager / client will know that you'd like more and when they next have budget meetings, they'll be more likely to allocate more for you in the future.
Even if you don't get more money, you'll be getting valuable feedback. Ask for specifics. What do you need to do to prove your worth? What kind of timeframe are they thinking of?
You may choose to look elsewhere but whatever you do, doing something is more empowering that just sitting at your desk wishing they'd recognise your worth without you having to point it out.
If you work for yourself, do you charge what you're worth or too little?
When you have psyched yourself up to quote what you're worth or present reasons for being worth more to your company than you've been getting, how comfortable do you feel about it?
Do you think:
a) Sure, I wish they'd offered more without my having to ask but they know I'm worth every penny and I'm sure I'll get it. If not here, then somewhere else...
b) I feel so greedy. So many people have lost their jobs / I'm lucky to be working in a field I enjoy...
c) I hope this doesn't prompt them to fire me / never hire me again. And that they don't tell all their aquaintances how outrageous I was to ask...
Which person's attitude do you think would be most likely to get the new rates she or he hopes for?
How can you boost your own confidence more so you believe in your value to your employer / clients and customers?
Before going into that meeting / making that call / writing that email, can you boost your morale by reading testimonials, positive reviews, clients' comments and other things that remind you that you're great at your job?
If you worry "But I'm not great at my job", what specific areas could you use a revision course or extra training in? What would help you be better at your work?
What do your colleagues / bosses / clients / others you work with value most about you? If nothing springs to mind, can you ask a few trusted souls?
It may be that, on this occassion, you don't get more money. But by having raised it, your manager / client will know that you'd like more and when they next have budget meetings, they'll be more likely to allocate more for you in the future.
Even if you don't get more money, you'll be getting valuable feedback. Ask for specifics. What do you need to do to prove your worth? What kind of timeframe are they thinking of?
You may choose to look elsewhere but whatever you do, doing something is more empowering that just sitting at your desk wishing they'd recognise your worth without you having to point it out.
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