Practicing tolerance

"Everybody is right from their own stand point ... hence the need for tolerance." - www.thoughtfortoday.org.uk

I've been having an imaginary conversation in my head all day, trying to avoid an argument but getting quite riled up as I anticipate this person's actions.

My predictions are based on previous examples so my anxiety about an argument isn't coming from nowhere.

But this little message has made me rethink things. I've gone over (in my imaginary argument with them) my perception of why they do the thing that is causing me problems but even in my head, it sounds judgmental.

So I'm going to attempt to take this advice to heart and:

1) Not jump in anticipating an argument
2) If they do the thing I think they'll do, I'll take a deep breath
3) Then, rather than getting defensive and walking away (I rarely actually argue - just in my head :)), I'll ask them questions to see if I can understand what on earth they're going on about, I mean, to find out how we can reach a compromise where everyone feels heard and valued.

Am quite tired just thinking about it but the anxiety I've been holding in my chest all day has suddenly lifted.

They may even surprise me by considering my perspective without the need for all this!!

How might exercising your tolerance muscles help you in your life?

Are you carrying too much emotional baggage? Lighten up in stages

Is there an area of life that you keep trying to suppress? Trying to pack these unwanted emotions away is like extra baggage in a suitcase that even sitting on top of won't close. It will weigh you down.

I know it's easier said than done... "Let it go", "Move on", "Forgive and forget" sound simple enough. And yet, very few people manage to release all unhelpful feelings, attachments and general baggage.

The Brahma Kumaris' (www.bkwsu.org/uk/welcome) Dadi Janki escaped violence and abuse but fled to safety and, now in her 90s, still travels the world spreading her message of peace, love and non-attachment.

Imagine yourself letting go off that row / heartbreak / betrayal and the feelings of lightness that will follow.

I'm not yet able to release everything but by choosing to get rid of what I can, I'm heading in the right direction. Be gentle with yourself and take small steps into a genuinely lighter life.

© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008.