Before getting ready to go out tonight, you may want to spend some quiet time taking stock of 2009.
Think about the different areas of your life that are important to you right now (home, finances, family, love, fun, spirituality, work, health, fitness and so on). Make a list of your achievements in each area.
Think also about your (dare I say it?) failures. This is not to make you feel badly about yourself but simply to acknowledge what hasn't worked for you in the past.
What lessons have you learned from them?
Now that you've acknowledged them (just to yourself. You don't need to go over the top), what ideas do you have for doing things differently in 2010?
Learn from the past by acknowledging it - good and bad.
Then party the year away knowing that you can recreate your achievements in 2010 without repeating mistakes.
Happy New Year!
Thursday 31 December 2009
Wednesday 30 December 2009
Confidence tips inspired by top TV chefs - Happy 2010
I've been watching a lot of cookery shows over the holidays.
Rachael Ray, Barefoot Contessa, Nigella Lawson, Nigel Slater, Rachel Allen...
They all glow with pride and accomplishment over their delicious looking creations.
They have complete faith that it's all going to turn out perfectly and regularly say things like:
. "Phenomenal"
. "Perfect"
. "How good is THAT?!" and so on.
It's contagious.
In your own life, how often do you talk about your own creations (whether it's food you've prepared or a project at work or even an outfit you've put together for a party) in a positive, compliment-expecting way?
How can you bring some of this "of course whatever I turn my hand to will work out perfectly" attitude to 2010?
Rachael Ray, Barefoot Contessa, Nigella Lawson, Nigel Slater, Rachel Allen...
They all glow with pride and accomplishment over their delicious looking creations.
They have complete faith that it's all going to turn out perfectly and regularly say things like:
. "Phenomenal"
. "Perfect"
. "How good is THAT?!" and so on.
It's contagious.
In your own life, how often do you talk about your own creations (whether it's food you've prepared or a project at work or even an outfit you've put together for a party) in a positive, compliment-expecting way?
How can you bring some of this "of course whatever I turn my hand to will work out perfectly" attitude to 2010?
Wednesday 23 December 2009
Thinking of making the same impossible seeming resolutions again?
Don't lose faith in yourself. If it's a big goal, it may well take a long time to create a new habit around it. (Personally speaking, I'd been repeatedly trying to give up one self-destructive habit for 23 years before finally kicking it this year).
To help motivate you, think of the Indian lorry driver, Ramchandra Das who made the news recently. The 53 year old spent 14 years chipping away at the mountain in Bihar that blocked his house with a hammer.
While I'm no architecht, this sounds like it could have been a pretty risky strategy (if the mountain had collapsed) but all worked out well and Mr Das no longer needs to park several miles from his home.
What will be your mountain in 2010? Is it a big habit you're trying to kick? An enormous goal you still haven't reached?
Don't give up.
The time will pass whether you achieve what you want or not so you might as well start taking those steps that will get you closer to a life you're happier living.
Happy Christmas!
To help motivate you, think of the Indian lorry driver, Ramchandra Das who made the news recently. The 53 year old spent 14 years chipping away at the mountain in Bihar that blocked his house with a hammer.
While I'm no architecht, this sounds like it could have been a pretty risky strategy (if the mountain had collapsed) but all worked out well and Mr Das no longer needs to park several miles from his home.
What will be your mountain in 2010? Is it a big habit you're trying to kick? An enormous goal you still haven't reached?
Don't give up.
The time will pass whether you achieve what you want or not so you might as well start taking those steps that will get you closer to a life you're happier living.
Happy Christmas!
Monday 21 December 2009
Cool Yule!
So (in this hemisphere) today's the shortest day of the year. Long before Christmas, it was celebrated as a way to encourage light to come back.
As well as tucking into your delicious Yule log (I actually managed to save mine until today this year), you may want to spend some time thinking about the kind of light you want to bring into your life as the days begin to get longer.
Allow yourself to feel the darkness and uncertainty around certain projects / relationships / adventures / money.
Seeds need the darkness of the earth to let them grow and (impatient as we humans can be) we also need downtime to let ourselves just be before we become all active again.
Once you've allowed yourself to feel (or at least acknowledge) your uncertainties, let yourself dream.
What do you want to create in your life this year? What steps will help you get there?
As well as tucking into your delicious Yule log (I actually managed to save mine until today this year), you may want to spend some time thinking about the kind of light you want to bring into your life as the days begin to get longer.
Allow yourself to feel the darkness and uncertainty around certain projects / relationships / adventures / money.
Seeds need the darkness of the earth to let them grow and (impatient as we humans can be) we also need downtime to let ourselves just be before we become all active again.
Once you've allowed yourself to feel (or at least acknowledge) your uncertainties, let yourself dream.
What do you want to create in your life this year? What steps will help you get there?
Friday 18 December 2009
Taking it slow and enjoying the snow
After the usual snow induced Travel Chaos kicked in on my way home last night, I worried I'd be stranded in London all night (Southend trains had been cancelled). Fortunately, I made it home in one piece, though much later than I'd expected.
By the time I was on the penultimate leg of my journey, a rail replacement bus, it was snowing so hard that the driver was crawling along and I realised that when he'd said this would be the last bus, he hadn't been exaggerating.
Once I was within walking distance (albeit very slow - I tore a ligament after falling in snow a few years ago and still feel a bit wary), I began to enjoy it.
It felt like I was the only human around - no other footprints, only a couple of small foxes. I stopped off a couple of times to make snow angels and just took it slow, enjoying the snow.
There's something magical about snow. Even the grimiest streets or a row of dustbins look pretty under its dust.
But when it turns to ice and slush, the streets end up looking worse than ever.
Have you ever had an experience (a holiday / relationship / night out / becoming a parent / anything) that left you feeling like your whole life had changed?
That things you'd never considered suddenly seemed really obvious?
How long did you hold onto the sense of wonder?
When it faded, did you feel worse than you had before as the added iciness and slush combined with reality?
What can you start doing differently today to bring back some of that wonder you had? How can you give the areas of your life you're less happy with a snowy makeover?
It might be as simple as thinking about what you did on that holiday etc. and figuring out how to make time for some of it in your daily life.
By the time I was on the penultimate leg of my journey, a rail replacement bus, it was snowing so hard that the driver was crawling along and I realised that when he'd said this would be the last bus, he hadn't been exaggerating.
Once I was within walking distance (albeit very slow - I tore a ligament after falling in snow a few years ago and still feel a bit wary), I began to enjoy it.
It felt like I was the only human around - no other footprints, only a couple of small foxes. I stopped off a couple of times to make snow angels and just took it slow, enjoying the snow.
There's something magical about snow. Even the grimiest streets or a row of dustbins look pretty under its dust.
But when it turns to ice and slush, the streets end up looking worse than ever.
Have you ever had an experience (a holiday / relationship / night out / becoming a parent / anything) that left you feeling like your whole life had changed?
That things you'd never considered suddenly seemed really obvious?
How long did you hold onto the sense of wonder?
When it faded, did you feel worse than you had before as the added iciness and slush combined with reality?
What can you start doing differently today to bring back some of that wonder you had? How can you give the areas of your life you're less happy with a snowy makeover?
It might be as simple as thinking about what you did on that holiday etc. and figuring out how to make time for some of it in your daily life.
Friday 11 December 2009
What are you afraid of?
We spent a lot of time (on Loud Women, BBC Essex - click here http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/mainframe.shtml?http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/essex.shtml and choose Friday 11/12/09 between noon and 2pm to listen) talking about dentist phobias today.
Lots of people called in with their horror stories.
I realised that even after extensive orthodontic treatment (4 teeth removed and a couple of years with a fixed brace on my top and bottom teeth), countless fillings (I have a very sweet tooth but, thankfully, haven't needed any new fillings for several years - since I started getting regular checks done) and gum surgery (the final step in a root canal treatment turned bad and several visits to the dental hospital while they tried to figure out how to fix things), I don't HATE going to the dentist.
I have a lovely dentist and while I don't enjoy going, I'm not phobic. And considering all the things our teeth and gum health can warn us about, regular visits are important.
I also have regular eye tests and other health checks. Part of me would quite like a full annual MOT like test but this year, having had several blood tests and an ECG along with other check-ups, I'm feeling quite virtuous about heading into the New Year.
That's not to say that I didn't put off the scariest ones for several months.
Before things get completely hectic with Christmas and the holidays, make any outstanding appointments to get whatever you need checked looked at.
It's NOT pleasant but you'll feel so much better when the results come back and you know that, whether it's a condition you need to deal with or a clean bill of health, you are taking responsibility for keeping your body as healthy as possible.
Lots of people called in with their horror stories.
I realised that even after extensive orthodontic treatment (4 teeth removed and a couple of years with a fixed brace on my top and bottom teeth), countless fillings (I have a very sweet tooth but, thankfully, haven't needed any new fillings for several years - since I started getting regular checks done) and gum surgery (the final step in a root canal treatment turned bad and several visits to the dental hospital while they tried to figure out how to fix things), I don't HATE going to the dentist.
I have a lovely dentist and while I don't enjoy going, I'm not phobic. And considering all the things our teeth and gum health can warn us about, regular visits are important.
I also have regular eye tests and other health checks. Part of me would quite like a full annual MOT like test but this year, having had several blood tests and an ECG along with other check-ups, I'm feeling quite virtuous about heading into the New Year.
That's not to say that I didn't put off the scariest ones for several months.
Before things get completely hectic with Christmas and the holidays, make any outstanding appointments to get whatever you need checked looked at.
It's NOT pleasant but you'll feel so much better when the results come back and you know that, whether it's a condition you need to deal with or a clean bill of health, you are taking responsibility for keeping your body as healthy as possible.
Wednesday 2 December 2009
Do you watch your language when you talk to yourself?
One of the Breakthrough confidence coaching sessions I offer is about watching your language when you're alone.
Think about it. When you're ready to head out the door and you catch your reflection in the mirror, are your words and facial expressions friendly or incredibly harsh?
If anyone else were to talk to you like that, you'd quickly stop spending time with them. And yet you probably allow this voice free reign in your head for much of every day.
Watching 30 Rock last night, I was struck by Jack's (Alec Baldwin) self talk compared to Liz (Tina Fey).
Jack (to his reflection): "You're a lion! Take what's yours!"
Liz (to her reflection): "You stupid b****!"
Unfortunately, by the end of the episode, he'd adopted her self loathing approach rather than her ending up feeling better.
Take some time to notice your responses to yourself when you see yourself in the mirror, hear yourself on tape etc. or have any sort of judgement about yourself at all.
How can you encourage yourself to be your best without lacerating every shred of self esteem?
Think about it. When you're ready to head out the door and you catch your reflection in the mirror, are your words and facial expressions friendly or incredibly harsh?
If anyone else were to talk to you like that, you'd quickly stop spending time with them. And yet you probably allow this voice free reign in your head for much of every day.
Watching 30 Rock last night, I was struck by Jack's (Alec Baldwin) self talk compared to Liz (Tina Fey).
Jack (to his reflection): "You're a lion! Take what's yours!"
Liz (to her reflection): "You stupid b****!"
Unfortunately, by the end of the episode, he'd adopted her self loathing approach rather than her ending up feeling better.
Take some time to notice your responses to yourself when you see yourself in the mirror, hear yourself on tape etc. or have any sort of judgement about yourself at all.
How can you encourage yourself to be your best without lacerating every shred of self esteem?
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