What do the Dalai Lama, Isabel Losada, Desmond Tutu, Martha Beck, Susan Sarandon and many more have in common?
They all value the power of laughter. As well as feeling good at the time (unless you're desperately trying not to laugh in an inappropriate situation), more and more research is showing how good this free medicine is.
Yet we still take life soooo seriously. If the Dalai Lama can find things to laugh about in his life, I'm sure you can in yours.
I have a friend I've known since we were ten. She can still make me literally fall down laughing. This was embarrassing for me, aged eleven, walking back from the station after school. As an adult it can be even more so (in a restaurant or shop, drawing strange looks from everyone). But it's still a lot of fun.
How can you make more space for laughter in your own life? Which friends and family members have you doubled over laughing? What kind of books make you laugh aloud on the train? (For me, authors who make me both laugh and cry include: Lorna Landvik, Pearl Cleage, Marian Keyes, Rebecca Wells, Alexander McCall Smith, Sue Grafton, Anne O Faulk, Maeve Binchy, Martha Beck, Isabel Losada, Gloria Steinem, Eve Ensler, Maria Shriver and, of course Elizabeth Gilbert).
Your sense of humour is likely to be different from mine (most people's is). But scan your own book shelves / film collection / TV guide.
List three ways you can schedule in some likely laughter over the next few days:
1)
2)
3)
What do you call two rows of cabbages? (scroll down for the answer)
A dual cabbage way...
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Monday 30 June 2008
Thursday 26 June 2008
You never know where asking for help could lead you
A few weeks ago, I wrote here about asking for help.
Still feeling on a roll, I contacted another favourite author last week to find out if I could interview her.
Interviewing Isabel Losada and now Martha Beck have been career highlights for me. I'm really looking forward to writing these features up (for Rapport, the NLP and Personal Development magazine - I'll upload pdfs to my site when they publish).
And if I hadn't asked the original aquaintance for help, I don't think it would have occurred to me to be so bold.
In the past, I needed to feel desperate for help (e.g. shouting "Help! Fire!" from my burning kitchen / asking for help carrying things while on crutches / after surgery etc.) before asking. So it's refreshing and even liberating to find that it gets that bit easier as you practice.
Is there someone - anyone - you can think of who might be able to help you with something? Anything from babysitting or DIY help to advice or something more major.
Often, because asking is challenging, we talk ourselves out of things that others would be delighted to help us with.
List three people you're going to test the waters with this week:
1)
2)
3)
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Still feeling on a roll, I contacted another favourite author last week to find out if I could interview her.
Interviewing Isabel Losada and now Martha Beck have been career highlights for me. I'm really looking forward to writing these features up (for Rapport, the NLP and Personal Development magazine - I'll upload pdfs to my site when they publish).
And if I hadn't asked the original aquaintance for help, I don't think it would have occurred to me to be so bold.
In the past, I needed to feel desperate for help (e.g. shouting "Help! Fire!" from my burning kitchen / asking for help carrying things while on crutches / after surgery etc.) before asking. So it's refreshing and even liberating to find that it gets that bit easier as you practice.
Is there someone - anyone - you can think of who might be able to help you with something? Anything from babysitting or DIY help to advice or something more major.
Often, because asking is challenging, we talk ourselves out of things that others would be delighted to help us with.
List three people you're going to test the waters with this week:
1)
2)
3)
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Monday 23 June 2008
Make the world a bit better by being kind to yourself
Have you ever noticed that on the days when you indulge yourself (giving yourself whatever you need: a lie in, good food, exercise, treats, whatever makes you feel good), you become nicer?
Too many people are brought up to believe that taking good care of ourselves is selfish. But it's when we deprive ourselves that we get cranky. If you've been kind to yourself and someone cuts in front of you, you're much more likely to let it go with a shrug than if you're already feeling a bit "grrr" yourself.
So make the world a better place by being kinder to yourself.
What three treats can you schedule in today that you know will make you a nicer version of you?
1)
2)
3)
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Too many people are brought up to believe that taking good care of ourselves is selfish. But it's when we deprive ourselves that we get cranky. If you've been kind to yourself and someone cuts in front of you, you're much more likely to let it go with a shrug than if you're already feeling a bit "grrr" yourself.
So make the world a better place by being kinder to yourself.
What three treats can you schedule in today that you know will make you a nicer version of you?
1)
2)
3)
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Thursday 19 June 2008
How do you feel when you stop?
Are you one of those people who regularly comes down with something on the first day of a much needed holiday? Do you work late and then find it hard to get a good night's sleep? Are weekends gone in a flash after playing catchup the whole time? Does the idea of just one lie-in sound as distant as a dream of winning a lottery you don't play?
When you've been running on adrenaline for any length of time, your best bet is to avoid a huge buildup of cortisol (the "stress hormone"). So if you've been working late for days to meet a deadline, when it's over, go to the gym. Or if you've been handling all the childcare solo for days, when you get the support you need, consider a nice long walk.
This physical activity will help your body release that stress and you're more likely to wake up feeling fab the next day. Think of it as changing gears - if you try to go from 1 to 4 without transitioning properly, your car will protest.
Ease into it. Even if you've not been working crazy hours (at work or within your family), taking 20 minutes to do nothing can feel too indulgent. But checking in with yourself can keep you on track more effectively than any amount of drive. Get into a new habit of stopping everything every couple of hours. If you can't even allow yourself five minutes, make it one.
Ask yourself "How do I feel right now?" Are you carrying tension or pain anywhere in your body? Is your heart racing? Are your eyes tired?
What three things (e.g. spending a little time unwinding with a good book / phoning a friend / spending some time in silence each day / simply shutting your eyes and taking a 5 minute nap) can you start doing today to pay better attention to your body and your needs?
1)
2)
3)
And if you're around on Saturday 21/6/08, you can start unwinding by tuning into BBC Essex's (www.bbc.co.uk/essex) Loud Women from noon to 2pm (I'll be on the panel again).
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
When you've been running on adrenaline for any length of time, your best bet is to avoid a huge buildup of cortisol (the "stress hormone"). So if you've been working late for days to meet a deadline, when it's over, go to the gym. Or if you've been handling all the childcare solo for days, when you get the support you need, consider a nice long walk.
This physical activity will help your body release that stress and you're more likely to wake up feeling fab the next day. Think of it as changing gears - if you try to go from 1 to 4 without transitioning properly, your car will protest.
Ease into it. Even if you've not been working crazy hours (at work or within your family), taking 20 minutes to do nothing can feel too indulgent. But checking in with yourself can keep you on track more effectively than any amount of drive. Get into a new habit of stopping everything every couple of hours. If you can't even allow yourself five minutes, make it one.
Ask yourself "How do I feel right now?" Are you carrying tension or pain anywhere in your body? Is your heart racing? Are your eyes tired?
What three things (e.g. spending a little time unwinding with a good book / phoning a friend / spending some time in silence each day / simply shutting your eyes and taking a 5 minute nap) can you start doing today to pay better attention to your body and your needs?
1)
2)
3)
And if you're around on Saturday 21/6/08, you can start unwinding by tuning into BBC Essex's (www.bbc.co.uk/essex) Loud Women from noon to 2pm (I'll be on the panel again).
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Monday 16 June 2008
Why are you procrastinating?
Do you ever find yourself spending lots of time doing relatively unimportant things instead of settling down to the most important tasks?
Whenever you find yourself struggling to get going, ask yourself if it's because it's too overwhelming.
By breaking a large, quite abstract task (such as "promote my business") down into a more manageable one ("make contact with ten potential clients / customers"), it'll be much easier to get going.
If you're struggling at home, for example, to clear a cluttered room, break it down to smaller chunks like one drawer or shelf at a time.
Keep breaking your goal down further and further until your next step is so simple, you'll feel really enthusiastic about getting started.
List three ways you can break things down:
1)
2)
3)
Don't forget to promise yourself a treat for when you've finished.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Whenever you find yourself struggling to get going, ask yourself if it's because it's too overwhelming.
By breaking a large, quite abstract task (such as "promote my business") down into a more manageable one ("make contact with ten potential clients / customers"), it'll be much easier to get going.
If you're struggling at home, for example, to clear a cluttered room, break it down to smaller chunks like one drawer or shelf at a time.
Keep breaking your goal down further and further until your next step is so simple, you'll feel really enthusiastic about getting started.
List three ways you can break things down:
1)
2)
3)
Don't forget to promise yourself a treat for when you've finished.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Thursday 12 June 2008
Trust your gut
I regularly encourage clients to let their instincts help guide their decisions. When they think about working with a particular person or group or accepting an invitation, do they feel good about it?
But, in real life, it can feel more tricky. I met a potential colleague recently who seemed lovely and very interesting. One thing made me feel a little uneasy as I cycled home. It took the shine off the good feeling I had about the project. So I emailed to double check.
Turned out, this little thing was a big thing. Part of me tried to talk myself into it but it just felt like it would turn into a nightmarish way of working. So I politely declined and said I'd like to help in another way if they wanted but got a very curt reply.
Although it's a bit disappointing, I feel hugely relieved. If we'd been working together, it could have turned into a nightmare.
Can you think of a situation in your life or work where you let an uneasy feeling slide? What happened? Do you wish you'd paid attention to your instincts?
How can you learn to listen to your gut? When you're making a good decision, how do you feel? (Taller? Strong? Centred?)
What about iffy decisions? (Slightly nauseous? Pounding chest? A bit sweaty?)
These feelings can feel like letdowns but when you realise your body is trying to help you, it will become much easier to make the right decisions for you.
List three checklist questions you can ask yourself (e.g. When I think about picking up the phone / meeting this person, a) I feel good, or b) my heart sinks to my feet with a growing sense of impending doom) to help you make better decisions from now on:
1)
2)
3)
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
But, in real life, it can feel more tricky. I met a potential colleague recently who seemed lovely and very interesting. One thing made me feel a little uneasy as I cycled home. It took the shine off the good feeling I had about the project. So I emailed to double check.
Turned out, this little thing was a big thing. Part of me tried to talk myself into it but it just felt like it would turn into a nightmarish way of working. So I politely declined and said I'd like to help in another way if they wanted but got a very curt reply.
Although it's a bit disappointing, I feel hugely relieved. If we'd been working together, it could have turned into a nightmare.
Can you think of a situation in your life or work where you let an uneasy feeling slide? What happened? Do you wish you'd paid attention to your instincts?
How can you learn to listen to your gut? When you're making a good decision, how do you feel? (Taller? Strong? Centred?)
What about iffy decisions? (Slightly nauseous? Pounding chest? A bit sweaty?)
These feelings can feel like letdowns but when you realise your body is trying to help you, it will become much easier to make the right decisions for you.
List three checklist questions you can ask yourself (e.g. When I think about picking up the phone / meeting this person, a) I feel good, or b) my heart sinks to my feet with a growing sense of impending doom) to help you make better decisions from now on:
1)
2)
3)
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Monday 9 June 2008
Asking for help
When you think about something you want to bring into your life, can you think of anyone who could help? Someone who maybe did what you want to do so could offer some advice?
How comfortable do you feel about asking them to help you?
I have to be honest. I hate asking for help. I much prefer being able to help other people. But this morning I resolved to email someone who I hoped could offer me some advice.
I figured that even if she said "no", I'd be off the hook (with myself) for having asked. In fact, she's very happy to help.
Emboldened, I got in touch with one of my favourite authors (Isabel Losada) about a commission for a magazine I write for regularly. I didn't know if I'd hear back but she couldn't have been more gracious or helpful.
Can you think of a goal you have where you could use some outside help? Yes, reading books is wonderful, but sometimes, picking up the phone, knocking on a door or sending a letter or email is better.
Who can help you get what you want in life? A former colleague? An old friend? A neighbour? List three people you've been putting off asking:
1)
2)
3)
Go on... What's the worst that can happen? Even if they feel unable to help you right now, you'll have expanded your comfort zones by having asked.
I love hearing how you're getting on so please keep your emails coming (eve@applecoaching.com).
All best wishes,
Eve
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
How comfortable do you feel about asking them to help you?
I have to be honest. I hate asking for help. I much prefer being able to help other people. But this morning I resolved to email someone who I hoped could offer me some advice.
I figured that even if she said "no", I'd be off the hook (with myself) for having asked. In fact, she's very happy to help.
Emboldened, I got in touch with one of my favourite authors (Isabel Losada) about a commission for a magazine I write for regularly. I didn't know if I'd hear back but she couldn't have been more gracious or helpful.
Can you think of a goal you have where you could use some outside help? Yes, reading books is wonderful, but sometimes, picking up the phone, knocking on a door or sending a letter or email is better.
Who can help you get what you want in life? A former colleague? An old friend? A neighbour? List three people you've been putting off asking:
1)
2)
3)
Go on... What's the worst that can happen? Even if they feel unable to help you right now, you'll have expanded your comfort zones by having asked.
I love hearing how you're getting on so please keep your emails coming (eve@applecoaching.com).
All best wishes,
Eve
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
Thursday 5 June 2008
Follow the sun
I was in Spain again last week running another coaching week. As I enjoyed daily mountain walks (not that high but nice and invigorating, overlooking olive groves), I thought about the fields of sunflowers in the distance below.
When the clouds cleared, entire fields of these beautiful yellow flowers blossomed. Sunflowers turn their heads to face the sun (I may well be the only person on the planet who only found this out last week) so they can absorb as much of its goodness - warmth and light - as possible.
We humans often overthink life, relationships and work. We end up giving problems and issues far more attention than all the good things in life. I was asked for a quote for a feature about gratitude this week (should appear in Zest - I'll put a pdf on my site when it's out). It's something that's really simple (although it takes discipline) but many people overlook it.
How can you shift your focus more towards the things about your work / relationships /health / financial situation / life in general that make you want to grin?
Start by listing three things that never fail to boost your mood (from a nice chat with a friend to singing at the top of your lungs in the car / shower):
1)
2)
3)
List the things that you're grateful for, not just today but going back as far as you can remember. Add to this list daily and also look out for patterns. What kind of activities / days / thoughts consistently make you happy?
Schedule them in so you have at least one on your To Do list every day. Bring more sunshine into your life all year round...
I love hearing how you're getting on so please keep your emails coming (eve@applecoaching.com).
All best wishes,
Eve
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
When the clouds cleared, entire fields of these beautiful yellow flowers blossomed. Sunflowers turn their heads to face the sun (I may well be the only person on the planet who only found this out last week) so they can absorb as much of its goodness - warmth and light - as possible.
We humans often overthink life, relationships and work. We end up giving problems and issues far more attention than all the good things in life. I was asked for a quote for a feature about gratitude this week (should appear in Zest - I'll put a pdf on my site when it's out). It's something that's really simple (although it takes discipline) but many people overlook it.
How can you shift your focus more towards the things about your work / relationships /health / financial situation / life in general that make you want to grin?
Start by listing three things that never fail to boost your mood (from a nice chat with a friend to singing at the top of your lungs in the car / shower):
1)
2)
3)
List the things that you're grateful for, not just today but going back as far as you can remember. Add to this list daily and also look out for patterns. What kind of activities / days / thoughts consistently make you happy?
Schedule them in so you have at least one on your To Do list every day. Bring more sunshine into your life all year round...
I love hearing how you're getting on so please keep your emails coming (eve@applecoaching.com).
All best wishes,
Eve
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
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