It may be that you're banging your head against a brick wall at work, with a bad habit you're trying to kick or in a relationship.
Whatever's happening, you're stuck.
Nothing's working and you don't know what else to do.
Do you:
a) keep trying the same thing over and over, convinced that next time, it has to work?
b) ask for help (from a friend / colleague / mentor etc.)?
c) meditate?
d) do some research to think it through?
e) take a break and plan to return to the problem feeling more refreshed?
I've just been writing up my interview with Marianne Williamson and she quoted Einstein's famous saying about how a problem can't be solved at the same level it was created.
If you don't already, make regular, daily space for meditating and start eradicating all the problems in your life.
Just let them all go...
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
Friday 30 January 2009
Wednesday 28 January 2009
What's your "Tiffany's"?
In Breakfast at Tiffany's, Holly loves the sense of peace at Tiffany's. She feels that nothing bad could ever happen there.
I was talking to a friend recently and she gets a similar sense of wellbeing from going to Harrods. I've never been (yet) but can understand what she was saying about visiting when feeling a little down.
Being surrounded by beautiful, expensive things helps her return to normal life feeling more optimistic and creative.
My usual Mood Boost Place is the woods (or being underwater at the pool) but think having lots of different types of places is a great idea.
So I'll upgrade from my usual Pretending to Be a Millionnaire trick of choosing something I'd buy (on every page) from, say, the Next catalogue to luxury places.
Julia Cameron (author of The Artist's Way) would approve. She prescribes weekly "artist dates" where you take yourself off to a gallery / park / anywhere inspirational.
If you don't already have some Mood Boost Places, start a list now. Schedule in visits so you feed your creativity and recharge yourself regularly by taking in beauty.
I'd love to hear about them (email eve@applecoaching.com).
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
I was talking to a friend recently and she gets a similar sense of wellbeing from going to Harrods. I've never been (yet) but can understand what she was saying about visiting when feeling a little down.
Being surrounded by beautiful, expensive things helps her return to normal life feeling more optimistic and creative.
My usual Mood Boost Place is the woods (or being underwater at the pool) but think having lots of different types of places is a great idea.
So I'll upgrade from my usual Pretending to Be a Millionnaire trick of choosing something I'd buy (on every page) from, say, the Next catalogue to luxury places.
Julia Cameron (author of The Artist's Way) would approve. She prescribes weekly "artist dates" where you take yourself off to a gallery / park / anywhere inspirational.
If you don't already have some Mood Boost Places, start a list now. Schedule in visits so you feed your creativity and recharge yourself regularly by taking in beauty.
I'd love to hear about them (email eve@applecoaching.com).
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Monday 26 January 2009
Criminal Minds - Profile yourself
I watched the final disc of Criminal Minds, Series 2 this weekend (already having withdrawal symptoms). I watched the bonus features, too and was stunned to discover that Kirsten Vangsness (who plays ever confident and articulate Penelope Garcia) was so shy as a child that she stopped talking for the entire year she was in 8th Grade (15 ish).
Acting helped her find her voice again and she blossomed.
While (I imagine :)) you're far from the type of person usually profiled by the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit, taking a step back can help you leap forward in your life. The BAU study the behaviour exhibited at crime scenes to develop astute profiles.
Pretend your life is one of their crime scenes. Forget all the things you tell yourself (e.g. you'd write / start that business / eat more healthy food and so on) and look at what your environment shows about you.
Study your workplace / kitchen / car.
How does what you have around you support your new habits?
How are you sabotaging yourself and your plans?
If there's a discrepency between what you're doing and what you're saying, your actions speak louder and more honestly than your words.
© Eve Menezes Cunnigham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Acting helped her find her voice again and she blossomed.
While (I imagine :)) you're far from the type of person usually profiled by the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit, taking a step back can help you leap forward in your life. The BAU study the behaviour exhibited at crime scenes to develop astute profiles.
Pretend your life is one of their crime scenes. Forget all the things you tell yourself (e.g. you'd write / start that business / eat more healthy food and so on) and look at what your environment shows about you.
Study your workplace / kitchen / car.
How does what you have around you support your new habits?
How are you sabotaging yourself and your plans?
If there's a discrepency between what you're doing and what you're saying, your actions speak louder and more honestly than your words.
© Eve Menezes Cunnigham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Friday 23 January 2009
Get out there and do something
“You will never stumble on anything worthwhile if you are sitting down.” Anon
I keep coming across lovely, wise quotes by this prolific woman / man called Anonymous :)
This one has tipped the balance (stay stuck at my laptop or wrap up v. pulling on my wellies and go for a walk in the woods) and I'll definitely head out soon.
While it's not entirely true (curling up with a great book / film / magazine and researching things on the internet can all be done sitting down while our minds travel), daily exercise is important.
Even in the UK, we get enough winter sun (OK, winter light) to benefit from just thirty minutes outside each day. This boosts our vitamin d levels and our moods.
If you're a sociable soul, ask a neighbour if she or he would like to join you. But don't underestimate the benefits of walking alone.
If something's been playing on your mind, phrase it as a question before you head out. Then keep half an eye out for solutions and you're likely to return home brimming with ideas.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
I keep coming across lovely, wise quotes by this prolific woman / man called Anonymous :)
This one has tipped the balance (stay stuck at my laptop or wrap up v. pulling on my wellies and go for a walk in the woods) and I'll definitely head out soon.
While it's not entirely true (curling up with a great book / film / magazine and researching things on the internet can all be done sitting down while our minds travel), daily exercise is important.
Even in the UK, we get enough winter sun (OK, winter light) to benefit from just thirty minutes outside each day. This boosts our vitamin d levels and our moods.
If you're a sociable soul, ask a neighbour if she or he would like to join you. But don't underestimate the benefits of walking alone.
If something's been playing on your mind, phrase it as a question before you head out. Then keep half an eye out for solutions and you're likely to return home brimming with ideas.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
Wednesday 21 January 2009
Time to smile
So Monday was officially the Most Depressing Day of the Year.
Now that it's over, think about the kinds of things bring a smile to your face. How can you do more of them.
Last year (21/1/08) was pretty awful - my kitchen burned down (electrical fault) and I had to move out for several months.
I had to force myself to go swimming and yoga-ing today as that little part of my brain that panics too much worried something bad might happen again today.
And, of course, having taken action rather than giving into fear, I came home feeling far more relaxed and productive.
Swimming, yoga and cycling are almost guaranteed to make me feel better (though there are maaany days when I just want to stay warm and cosy indoors).
What works for you?
Even though the days are getting longer and the weather seems a bit milder, protect your good mood by doing what you can to enhance it every day.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
Now that it's over, think about the kinds of things bring a smile to your face. How can you do more of them.
Last year (21/1/08) was pretty awful - my kitchen burned down (electrical fault) and I had to move out for several months.
I had to force myself to go swimming and yoga-ing today as that little part of my brain that panics too much worried something bad might happen again today.
And, of course, having taken action rather than giving into fear, I came home feeling far more relaxed and productive.
Swimming, yoga and cycling are almost guaranteed to make me feel better (though there are maaany days when I just want to stay warm and cosy indoors).
What works for you?
Even though the days are getting longer and the weather seems a bit milder, protect your good mood by doing what you can to enhance it every day.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
Monday 19 January 2009
Think big - Obama did
As millions tune in tomorrow to watch the inauguration of a US President (do we pay anywhere near as close attention to what's going on with our own politicians?), think about your own life.
If you're not feeling inspired by the New Year Resolutions you set, give yourself permission to dream more boldly.
So becoming one of the world's most powerful leaders probably isn't on your agenda but what have you been dismissing as too bold for you?
. Enrolling in a course that will bring you closer to work you could love?
. Writing page after page (not giving up after deciding on the perfect title) of your future bestseller?
. Ending that relationship / friendship that's been draining the life right out of you forever?
. Starting a conversation with someone you usually blush around and run away from (maybe even asking him or her out)?
. Exhibiting those photos or paintings?
Don't censor yourself but list your dreams now. Start with a bold, seemingly unreachable one and then you can begin to break it down. But starting big will inspire you and keep you motivated when you think about what an enormous change it could bring to your own life.
Good luck!
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
If you're not feeling inspired by the New Year Resolutions you set, give yourself permission to dream more boldly.
So becoming one of the world's most powerful leaders probably isn't on your agenda but what have you been dismissing as too bold for you?
. Enrolling in a course that will bring you closer to work you could love?
. Writing page after page (not giving up after deciding on the perfect title) of your future bestseller?
. Ending that relationship / friendship that's been draining the life right out of you forever?
. Starting a conversation with someone you usually blush around and run away from (maybe even asking him or her out)?
. Exhibiting those photos or paintings?
Don't censor yourself but list your dreams now. Start with a bold, seemingly unreachable one and then you can begin to break it down. But starting big will inspire you and keep you motivated when you think about what an enormous change it could bring to your own life.
Good luck!
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Friday 16 January 2009
Accepting (and offering) help
When I went downstairs to find my kitchen on fire (nearly a year ago to the day), I opened the front door yelling "Help! Fire!" into the street without thinking as I dialled 999.
Two fire fighters came over today to do an assesment. While it dredged up a lot of the trauma again (although, who am I kidding - I'm still checking for fire on a more regular basis than is ideal), it was also very healing.
One of them had been first on the scene. How they do such a job, I'll never know but I'm very grateful.
In cases of emergency, no matter how reserved you are naturally, you'll probably overcome this and scream your lungs out if necessary to get help.
Yet when it comes to simple things and help that so many people would love to offer, we hold back. We don't like feeling indebted or don't want to put people out.
Pretend, just for a second, that your life is an emergency. It's essential that you make it the best it can possibly be.
Who can help you make the progress you need to make?
Who might be able to share resources and offer advice?
Get out of your own way and when people offer to help (whether that's babysitting, explaining a report at work or role playing before an interview), practice accepting.
If you genuinely can't think of any area you'd benefit from assistance in, turn your focus outwards. Is someone in your household struggling? Maybe a neighbour could use a friendly cup of tea and chat?
By getting into the habit of helping and letting yourself be helped, you'll find yourself filled with warm fuzzy feelings on a regular basis.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Two fire fighters came over today to do an assesment. While it dredged up a lot of the trauma again (although, who am I kidding - I'm still checking for fire on a more regular basis than is ideal), it was also very healing.
One of them had been first on the scene. How they do such a job, I'll never know but I'm very grateful.
In cases of emergency, no matter how reserved you are naturally, you'll probably overcome this and scream your lungs out if necessary to get help.
Yet when it comes to simple things and help that so many people would love to offer, we hold back. We don't like feeling indebted or don't want to put people out.
Pretend, just for a second, that your life is an emergency. It's essential that you make it the best it can possibly be.
Who can help you make the progress you need to make?
Who might be able to share resources and offer advice?
Get out of your own way and when people offer to help (whether that's babysitting, explaining a report at work or role playing before an interview), practice accepting.
If you genuinely can't think of any area you'd benefit from assistance in, turn your focus outwards. Is someone in your household struggling? Maybe a neighbour could use a friendly cup of tea and chat?
By getting into the habit of helping and letting yourself be helped, you'll find yourself filled with warm fuzzy feelings on a regular basis.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Wednesday 14 January 2009
Superhuman efforts on TV
A lot of my favourite TV shows are based around workaholic cultures.
Even though they're seemingly set in the real world, many of the characters exhibit superhero willpower when it comes to getting the job done. In the last few days, I watched:
ER - Dr Abby Lockhart picked herself up from the ground after an ambulance exploded (with her in it) and refused to accept treatment for her broken arm until she'd helped a lot of other victims. (Who knows what the outcome for Dr Greg Pratt might have been if he'd focused on his own recovery instead of getting all the medics organised?)
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation - Grissom, Willows and the rest of the team worked (admittedly in sombre silence) to put Warrick's killer away. Grissom only changed out of his blood stained shirt when a colleague needed to bag it as evidence.
CSI: New York - Mac regained consciousness after his hostage ordeal and avoided drowning by fighting free from the car, swimming to dry land then, not even stopping to get his breath back, fighting his way through enormous reeds that made him look the size of a mouse. Back at the office, he had a quick shower before leading the team in tracking down the suspect. Stella, in pursuit of said suspect was thrown over the side of a building but managed to haul herself back to safety pausing only to phone work with info on the case. Again, she didn't stop to catch her breath (and, of course, not a hair was out of place).
These are just a few examples.
As well as proving that I watch too much TV, it also makes me think working when not well is pretty normal.
But at what cost? I heard about a dancer recently who was told she'd risk paralysis if she walked let alone danced after injury. She seriously considered going on even though her employers had already replaced her.
Before automatically soldiering on next time you need a break, ask yourself why you feel unable to pay attention to your body. Will working extra hard secure your job or lead to illness?
Without your health and wellbeing, you can't work.
Taking care of yourself means you'll do a better job, be more efficient and also maintain health and fitness so you avoid burning out.
Watch these shows for entertainment but don't view them as lifestyle advice.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
Even though they're seemingly set in the real world, many of the characters exhibit superhero willpower when it comes to getting the job done. In the last few days, I watched:
ER - Dr Abby Lockhart picked herself up from the ground after an ambulance exploded (with her in it) and refused to accept treatment for her broken arm until she'd helped a lot of other victims. (Who knows what the outcome for Dr Greg Pratt might have been if he'd focused on his own recovery instead of getting all the medics organised?)
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation - Grissom, Willows and the rest of the team worked (admittedly in sombre silence) to put Warrick's killer away. Grissom only changed out of his blood stained shirt when a colleague needed to bag it as evidence.
CSI: New York - Mac regained consciousness after his hostage ordeal and avoided drowning by fighting free from the car, swimming to dry land then, not even stopping to get his breath back, fighting his way through enormous reeds that made him look the size of a mouse. Back at the office, he had a quick shower before leading the team in tracking down the suspect. Stella, in pursuit of said suspect was thrown over the side of a building but managed to haul herself back to safety pausing only to phone work with info on the case. Again, she didn't stop to catch her breath (and, of course, not a hair was out of place).
These are just a few examples.
As well as proving that I watch too much TV, it also makes me think working when not well is pretty normal.
But at what cost? I heard about a dancer recently who was told she'd risk paralysis if she walked let alone danced after injury. She seriously considered going on even though her employers had already replaced her.
Before automatically soldiering on next time you need a break, ask yourself why you feel unable to pay attention to your body. Will working extra hard secure your job or lead to illness?
Without your health and wellbeing, you can't work.
Taking care of yourself means you'll do a better job, be more efficient and also maintain health and fitness so you avoid burning out.
Watch these shows for entertainment but don't view them as lifestyle advice.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
Monday 12 January 2009
Dancing on Ice - what's not to love?
1) The supportive sounds from the audience - Todd Carty's staying upright in spite of shakiness seemed to bring the house down! Imagine if you had that kind of support in your life?
2) Before and after elements - they're unable to stay upright, sweaty, feeling hopeless, dishevelled and unmade up in the video clips but then glide on looking glamourous and able to do anything on the night.
3) Their courage - I'd never heard of Michael Underwood but when he cried, I cried (just a little!). To recover from the trauma of a bad fall and injury and go back out there...
4) ... As Michael's professional skater partner Melanie Lambert said, "Basically, in skating, you have to fall. That's how we learn."
How can you use these men and women as inspiration to reach your own life goals?
Didn't get the last job / promotion you wanted? What can you learn from the experience? How can you do better next time?
Pretend the world is your ice rink. Are you going to hold onto the edges and never let go or start taking some risks and possibly fly?
© Eve Menezes Cunnigham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
2) Before and after elements - they're unable to stay upright, sweaty, feeling hopeless, dishevelled and unmade up in the video clips but then glide on looking glamourous and able to do anything on the night.
3) Their courage - I'd never heard of Michael Underwood but when he cried, I cried (just a little!). To recover from the trauma of a bad fall and injury and go back out there...
4) ... As Michael's professional skater partner Melanie Lambert said, "Basically, in skating, you have to fall. That's how we learn."
How can you use these men and women as inspiration to reach your own life goals?
Didn't get the last job / promotion you wanted? What can you learn from the experience? How can you do better next time?
Pretend the world is your ice rink. Are you going to hold onto the edges and never let go or start taking some risks and possibly fly?
© Eve Menezes Cunnigham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Thursday 8 January 2009
What are you ready to release? Losing weight and clearing clutter in 2009
Whether you're ready to eat healthily and exercise more to reveal beautiful bone structure or are finally ready to declutter your "storage" room / garage / whole house, stop hiding your potential.
Be patient with yourself as you change the bad habits that have led to weight gain / your space feeling invaded by things you brought into it.
Keep yourself motivated and on track by logging your progress. You might want to make a note of everything you've eaten each day, exercise taken and any feelings that have cropped up around it / the things you've sorted out and donated and what memories you're also letting go of.
If you're more visual, why not snap pictures of each meal / shelf as you progress (before and after clutter shots are great reminders to maintain the good habits you're now learning)?
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
Be patient with yourself as you change the bad habits that have led to weight gain / your space feeling invaded by things you brought into it.
Keep yourself motivated and on track by logging your progress. You might want to make a note of everything you've eaten each day, exercise taken and any feelings that have cropped up around it / the things you've sorted out and donated and what memories you're also letting go of.
If you're more visual, why not snap pictures of each meal / shelf as you progress (before and after clutter shots are great reminders to maintain the good habits you're now learning)?
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
Monday 5 January 2009
Take a deep breath and stay focused
Callers kept phoning in about energy bills on Saturday's show (choose Saturday Lunchtime for Sadie's show and listen here www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/mainframe.shtml?http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/essex.shtml)
Frustrating as it is when dealing with any "computer says no" situation, you can improve the odds of getting your issue resolved:
1) Before you even pick up the phone, think about what you want to achieve. Make some notes if this will help you stay focused once the various hold messages and tunes have distracted you.
2) Be polite. The person on the end of the line is not to blame for your woes. She or he is more likely to go that extra mile for you if you treat them like a human being and explain your situation calmly.
3) If you need to complain, ask immediately who the best person to make a complaint to would be. Often you'll be transferred to a "complaints" team. Or ask to speak to a supervisor or manager.
4) Make a note of times and dates as well as action points agreed so, if you need to contact them again, you have all the information to hand.
5) When you've made the call, give yourself a treat. Whether it's sitting down with a cup of tea, phoning a friend or reading a favourite book / magazine, let your success settle before you rush back into the rest of your To Do list...
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
Frustrating as it is when dealing with any "computer says no" situation, you can improve the odds of getting your issue resolved:
1) Before you even pick up the phone, think about what you want to achieve. Make some notes if this will help you stay focused once the various hold messages and tunes have distracted you.
2) Be polite. The person on the end of the line is not to blame for your woes. She or he is more likely to go that extra mile for you if you treat them like a human being and explain your situation calmly.
3) If you need to complain, ask immediately who the best person to make a complaint to would be. Often you'll be transferred to a "complaints" team. Or ask to speak to a supervisor or manager.
4) Make a note of times and dates as well as action points agreed so, if you need to contact them again, you have all the information to hand.
5) When you've made the call, give yourself a treat. Whether it's sitting down with a cup of tea, phoning a friend or reading a favourite book / magazine, let your success settle before you rush back into the rest of your To Do list...
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
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