Amongst today's topics were ghoulish ghost stories (I just recently found out that approximately 100,000 women were burned as witches during the Burning Times - horrific), crime and punishment and trick or treaters... (choose noon to 2pm to listen -
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/mainframe.shtml?http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/essex.shtml)
Friday 30 October 2009
Wednesday 28 October 2009
Hoping for a different past?
According to (one of my all time favourite writers and human beings) Martha Beck, "forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a different past".
I'm a big fan of forgiveness, in theory. But in spite of all the logical sayings - like "not forgiving is like drinking poison and hoping someone else will feel the effects" - in practice, it can feel much harder.
Thinking of the things you struggle to forgive, is a part of you hoping for something to actually rewind so you can have had a different past?
How can you make peace with your past (even if you're not ready to even contemplate forgiving someone involved)?
I'm a big fan of forgiveness, in theory. But in spite of all the logical sayings - like "not forgiving is like drinking poison and hoping someone else will feel the effects" - in practice, it can feel much harder.
Thinking of the things you struggle to forgive, is a part of you hoping for something to actually rewind so you can have had a different past?
How can you make peace with your past (even if you're not ready to even contemplate forgiving someone involved)?
Monday 26 October 2009
Banishing Bad Moods
Sometimes, it's appropriate to wallow a little, but for those days when you want to snap yourself out of it - http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/fabulous/fab_columnists/562124/bad-moods.html
Monday 19 October 2009
Superhero Mum - inspiration to us all
I was amazed to read (in The Week, 16/10/09) about an Indian woman, Rinku Rai, who suddenly went into labour in a train toilet. Before she knew what was happening, her newborn baby was sucked through the chute and onto the train tracks.
Like a superhero, Ms Rai leaped from the moving train (having just given birth! Moving train!), ran back down the track and found her baby unharmed.
It sounds like all of this happened so quickly, Ms Rai didn't overthink it. Instinct took over and her happy ending is making people smile around the world.
Think about your own life. While you might not be able to think of as dramatic an example (I certainly can't), can you remember a time when you did something that seemed impossible?
Maybe people were telling you it wasn't worth trying but instead of giving up, you took the steps you needed to take to get there and made it possible?
How can you harness that same self belief today?
What feels too challenging for you right now?
Think of Ms Rai and give yourself permission to use all your resources and make a difference in your own life.
Like a superhero, Ms Rai leaped from the moving train (having just given birth! Moving train!), ran back down the track and found her baby unharmed.
It sounds like all of this happened so quickly, Ms Rai didn't overthink it. Instinct took over and her happy ending is making people smile around the world.
Think about your own life. While you might not be able to think of as dramatic an example (I certainly can't), can you remember a time when you did something that seemed impossible?
Maybe people were telling you it wasn't worth trying but instead of giving up, you took the steps you needed to take to get there and made it possible?
How can you harness that same self belief today?
What feels too challenging for you right now?
Think of Ms Rai and give yourself permission to use all your resources and make a difference in your own life.
Friday 16 October 2009
When are you most comfortable with yourself?
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself." - Mark Twain
If you don't know, start asking yourself on a regular basis. When you find yourself thinking "Now. This feels like me" make a note of what you were doing.
It might have been singing at the top of your lungs in the car or shower, doing something for your kids, getting into a flow state at work, laughing with friends or all of these or something very different.
Make yourself into a research project.
Pay attention to the things that help you feel more comfortable with yourself and schedule them in so this is how you spend as much of your life as possible.
Think about the things that you resist, too. What makes you feel uncomfortable?
How can you shift things so you can minimise the time you spend doing things that go against your core?
If you don't know, start asking yourself on a regular basis. When you find yourself thinking "Now. This feels like me" make a note of what you were doing.
It might have been singing at the top of your lungs in the car or shower, doing something for your kids, getting into a flow state at work, laughing with friends or all of these or something very different.
Make yourself into a research project.
Pay attention to the things that help you feel more comfortable with yourself and schedule them in so this is how you spend as much of your life as possible.
Think about the things that you resist, too. What makes you feel uncomfortable?
How can you shift things so you can minimise the time you spend doing things that go against your core?
Wednesday 14 October 2009
Feeling like a fraud
I attended my first Guild of Health Writers event last night. I'd only joined a few months ago and wondered what the Health Writer's Awards would entail.
Rather than being stuffy and formal (though the venue was amazing), it was fun and inspirational.
But I was surprised by how many people I met who all confessed to feeling a bit like a fraud. Even people who write regularly for well respected titles.
Is there an area of your life where you feel a bit out of your depth? Would confessing to others in similar situations help you feel better about it? (Don't do it if they're likely to look at you blankly leaving you feeling worse than ever).
Would learning more about the subject / area you struggle with help you boost your confidence?
Remembering that it's perfectly normal to feel out of your depth - especially when you're doing some kind of growing - can help ease some of that anxiety enabling you to really go for it.
Rather than being stuffy and formal (though the venue was amazing), it was fun and inspirational.
But I was surprised by how many people I met who all confessed to feeling a bit like a fraud. Even people who write regularly for well respected titles.
Is there an area of your life where you feel a bit out of your depth? Would confessing to others in similar situations help you feel better about it? (Don't do it if they're likely to look at you blankly leaving you feeling worse than ever).
Would learning more about the subject / area you struggle with help you boost your confidence?
Remembering that it's perfectly normal to feel out of your depth - especially when you're doing some kind of growing - can help ease some of that anxiety enabling you to really go for it.
Monday 5 October 2009
Practicing tolerance
"Everybody is right from their own stand point ... hence the need for tolerance." - www.thoughtfortoday.org.uk
I've been having an imaginary conversation in my head all day, trying to avoid an argument but getting quite riled up as I anticipate this person's actions.
My predictions are based on previous examples so my anxiety about an argument isn't coming from nowhere.
But this little message has made me rethink things. I've gone over (in my imaginary argument with them) my perception of why they do the thing that is causing me problems but even in my head, it sounds judgmental.
So I'm going to attempt to take this advice to heart and:
1) Not jump in anticipating an argument
2) If they do the thing I think they'll do, I'll take a deep breath
3) Then, rather than getting defensive and walking away (I rarely actually argue - just in my head :)), I'll ask them questions to see if I can understand what on earth they're going on about, I mean, to find out how we can reach a compromise where everyone feels heard and valued.
Am quite tired just thinking about it but the anxiety I've been holding in my chest all day has suddenly lifted.
They may even surprise me by considering my perspective without the need for all this!!
How might exercising your tolerance muscles help you in your life?
I've been having an imaginary conversation in my head all day, trying to avoid an argument but getting quite riled up as I anticipate this person's actions.
My predictions are based on previous examples so my anxiety about an argument isn't coming from nowhere.
But this little message has made me rethink things. I've gone over (in my imaginary argument with them) my perception of why they do the thing that is causing me problems but even in my head, it sounds judgmental.
So I'm going to attempt to take this advice to heart and:
1) Not jump in anticipating an argument
2) If they do the thing I think they'll do, I'll take a deep breath
3) Then, rather than getting defensive and walking away (I rarely actually argue - just in my head :)), I'll ask them questions to see if I can understand what on earth they're going on about, I mean, to find out how we can reach a compromise where everyone feels heard and valued.
Am quite tired just thinking about it but the anxiety I've been holding in my chest all day has suddenly lifted.
They may even surprise me by considering my perspective without the need for all this!!
How might exercising your tolerance muscles help you in your life?
Friday 2 October 2009
The confidence to speak out
The founder of V-Day (a movement to end violence against women and girls) has been speaking out for people who don't have a voice for years.
I was fortunate enough to meet her a few years ago and she's one of my all time heros. To have survived so much and then to help so many people...
Here's her piece on the betrayal she felt by directors' etc. support of Roman Polanski's behaviour:
www.huffingtonpost.com/eve-ensler/does-the-brotherhood-of-f_b_305581.html
Personally, I adore David Lynch and Pedro Almadovar but can't believe that anyone would OK the rape of a 13 year old girl because it happened ages ago and he's had a tough life.
Equally, I can't believe how many interviews I read at the height of ER star Noah Wyle's fame which acted as if the fact that he'd lost his virginity to an 18 year old when HE was 13 was something cool.
Boy or girl, 13 is childhood.
I'd love to live in a world where children have the confidence to feel that their voices matter, too. That they can safely say NO to anything that makes them feel remotely uncomfortable and that no one has to give into abuse.
I know it's NOT that world, but part of me feels confident that, by getting predators the help they need (not putting them in places where we know old abuse will be compounded by new) and by keeping children safe or at least letting them know that it wasn't their fault, we can slowly get there.
I was fortunate enough to meet her a few years ago and she's one of my all time heros. To have survived so much and then to help so many people...
Here's her piece on the betrayal she felt by directors' etc. support of Roman Polanski's behaviour:
www.huffingtonpost.com/eve-ensler/does-the-brotherhood-of-f_b_305581.html
Personally, I adore David Lynch and Pedro Almadovar but can't believe that anyone would OK the rape of a 13 year old girl because it happened ages ago and he's had a tough life.
Equally, I can't believe how many interviews I read at the height of ER star Noah Wyle's fame which acted as if the fact that he'd lost his virginity to an 18 year old when HE was 13 was something cool.
Boy or girl, 13 is childhood.
I'd love to live in a world where children have the confidence to feel that their voices matter, too. That they can safely say NO to anything that makes them feel remotely uncomfortable and that no one has to give into abuse.
I know it's NOT that world, but part of me feels confident that, by getting predators the help they need (not putting them in places where we know old abuse will be compounded by new) and by keeping children safe or at least letting them know that it wasn't their fault, we can slowly get there.
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