Public humilation

I've done quite a bit of radio now and enjoy the fact that I usually relax so much, I forget it's being broadcast live. Recently, I've filmed a few television programmes, offering coaching advice, for a new satellite channel. When I was asked to take part in a more political show, I said "Of course! Thanks for thinking of me" and looked forward to discussing various headlines.

But when I got there and read the stories, I realised they were a far cry from my usual type. The other panelists were from the Free Tibet Campaign and Channel 4. I was introduced as a freelance journalist (I specialise in wellbeing and personal development).

A couple of the stories felt like things I could comment quite sensibly on. And two, I was utterly clueless about. Even after rereading them, I just didn't get it. The presenter's introduction to "in depth analysis" made me realise that perhaps I wasn't in the right place at the right time.

It went out live. As I watched it on the internet yesterday (sadly after I'd sent my newsletter out with a link to it), I realised that I hadn't been imagining the mortification. I was just about OK for the first three stories (although I did look, as my own mother said through absolute gales of laughter, as if I might have just wandered into the studio off the street).

And the final story I was asked to comment on was the one I was completely ignorant about. Re the Bear Stearns bank crisis, I tried to integrate what the other panelists had and admitted that I didn't really understand why it's a problem if a bank gets bailed out. Like Virgin buying Northern Rock here. Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh!

My mother said she saw the panelist next to me desperately try to stifle his own laughter and started howling at the hilarity again. When the presenter started talking about the final story (Obama), I thought "Phew! I know lots about this one, I can redeem myself" but then they ran out of time....

After picking myself up off the floor where I was cringing and laughing at the same time, I figured, all I can do is learn from it.

When was the last time you had a mortifying experience? What did you do?

I've learned that:

1) I need to be better prepared next time (if there is a next time!) and I need to tell the presenter which stories I have the most to say about. This way, rather than feeling like a kid being quizzed on a subject she doesn't take in a higher set, I'll be better able to steer things in a more sensible direction.

2) I should have spoken up during the last story and put my point of view across instead of waiting to be asked to speak.

3) It's better to laugh about it than to cry. There's nothing I can do to go back in time to fix it, so it's just about figuring out what to do differently next time.

In the past, I'd have been paralysed. I'd have simply thought "No more TV or even leaving the house or picking up the telephone. Way too many opportunities for humiliation!"

Now I know it's not the end of the world but there are lots of things I can do to do better in the future. By focusing on what I want to happen (poise and elegance would be fantastic!), I can let go off the past and move on.

(Doh! Doh! Doh!!!)

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