Do you ever find yourself spending lots of time doing relatively unimportant things instead of settling down to the most important tasks?
Whenever you find yourself struggling to get going, ask yourself if it's because it's too overwhelming.
By breaking a large, quite abstract task (such as "promote my business") down into a more manageable one ("make contact with ten potential clients / customers"), it'll be much easier to get going.
If you're struggling at home, for example, to clear a cluttered room, break it down to smaller chunks like one drawer or shelf at a time.
Keep breaking your goal down further and further until your next step is so simple, you'll feel really enthusiastic about getting started.
List three ways you can break things down:
1)
2)
3)
Don't forget to promise yourself a treat for when you've finished.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Monday, 16 June 2008
Thursday, 12 June 2008
Trust your gut
I regularly encourage clients to let their instincts help guide their decisions. When they think about working with a particular person or group or accepting an invitation, do they feel good about it?
But, in real life, it can feel more tricky. I met a potential colleague recently who seemed lovely and very interesting. One thing made me feel a little uneasy as I cycled home. It took the shine off the good feeling I had about the project. So I emailed to double check.
Turned out, this little thing was a big thing. Part of me tried to talk myself into it but it just felt like it would turn into a nightmarish way of working. So I politely declined and said I'd like to help in another way if they wanted but got a very curt reply.
Although it's a bit disappointing, I feel hugely relieved. If we'd been working together, it could have turned into a nightmare.
Can you think of a situation in your life or work where you let an uneasy feeling slide? What happened? Do you wish you'd paid attention to your instincts?
How can you learn to listen to your gut? When you're making a good decision, how do you feel? (Taller? Strong? Centred?)
What about iffy decisions? (Slightly nauseous? Pounding chest? A bit sweaty?)
These feelings can feel like letdowns but when you realise your body is trying to help you, it will become much easier to make the right decisions for you.
List three checklist questions you can ask yourself (e.g. When I think about picking up the phone / meeting this person, a) I feel good, or b) my heart sinks to my feet with a growing sense of impending doom) to help you make better decisions from now on:
1)
2)
3)
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
But, in real life, it can feel more tricky. I met a potential colleague recently who seemed lovely and very interesting. One thing made me feel a little uneasy as I cycled home. It took the shine off the good feeling I had about the project. So I emailed to double check.
Turned out, this little thing was a big thing. Part of me tried to talk myself into it but it just felt like it would turn into a nightmarish way of working. So I politely declined and said I'd like to help in another way if they wanted but got a very curt reply.
Although it's a bit disappointing, I feel hugely relieved. If we'd been working together, it could have turned into a nightmare.
Can you think of a situation in your life or work where you let an uneasy feeling slide? What happened? Do you wish you'd paid attention to your instincts?
How can you learn to listen to your gut? When you're making a good decision, how do you feel? (Taller? Strong? Centred?)
What about iffy decisions? (Slightly nauseous? Pounding chest? A bit sweaty?)
These feelings can feel like letdowns but when you realise your body is trying to help you, it will become much easier to make the right decisions for you.
List three checklist questions you can ask yourself (e.g. When I think about picking up the phone / meeting this person, a) I feel good, or b) my heart sinks to my feet with a growing sense of impending doom) to help you make better decisions from now on:
1)
2)
3)
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2008
Monday, 9 June 2008
Asking for help
When you think about something you want to bring into your life, can you think of anyone who could help? Someone who maybe did what you want to do so could offer some advice?
How comfortable do you feel about asking them to help you?
I have to be honest. I hate asking for help. I much prefer being able to help other people. But this morning I resolved to email someone who I hoped could offer me some advice.
I figured that even if she said "no", I'd be off the hook (with myself) for having asked. In fact, she's very happy to help.
Emboldened, I got in touch with one of my favourite authors (Isabel Losada) about a commission for a magazine I write for regularly. I didn't know if I'd hear back but she couldn't have been more gracious or helpful.
Can you think of a goal you have where you could use some outside help? Yes, reading books is wonderful, but sometimes, picking up the phone, knocking on a door or sending a letter or email is better.
Who can help you get what you want in life? A former colleague? An old friend? A neighbour? List three people you've been putting off asking:
1)
2)
3)
Go on... What's the worst that can happen? Even if they feel unable to help you right now, you'll have expanded your comfort zones by having asked.
I love hearing how you're getting on so please keep your emails coming (eve@applecoaching.com).
All best wishes,
Eve
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
How comfortable do you feel about asking them to help you?
I have to be honest. I hate asking for help. I much prefer being able to help other people. But this morning I resolved to email someone who I hoped could offer me some advice.
I figured that even if she said "no", I'd be off the hook (with myself) for having asked. In fact, she's very happy to help.
Emboldened, I got in touch with one of my favourite authors (Isabel Losada) about a commission for a magazine I write for regularly. I didn't know if I'd hear back but she couldn't have been more gracious or helpful.
Can you think of a goal you have where you could use some outside help? Yes, reading books is wonderful, but sometimes, picking up the phone, knocking on a door or sending a letter or email is better.
Who can help you get what you want in life? A former colleague? An old friend? A neighbour? List three people you've been putting off asking:
1)
2)
3)
Go on... What's the worst that can happen? Even if they feel unable to help you right now, you'll have expanded your comfort zones by having asked.
I love hearing how you're getting on so please keep your emails coming (eve@applecoaching.com).
All best wishes,
Eve
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
Thursday, 5 June 2008
Follow the sun
I was in Spain again last week running another coaching week. As I enjoyed daily mountain walks (not that high but nice and invigorating, overlooking olive groves), I thought about the fields of sunflowers in the distance below.
When the clouds cleared, entire fields of these beautiful yellow flowers blossomed. Sunflowers turn their heads to face the sun (I may well be the only person on the planet who only found this out last week) so they can absorb as much of its goodness - warmth and light - as possible.
We humans often overthink life, relationships and work. We end up giving problems and issues far more attention than all the good things in life. I was asked for a quote for a feature about gratitude this week (should appear in Zest - I'll put a pdf on my site when it's out). It's something that's really simple (although it takes discipline) but many people overlook it.
How can you shift your focus more towards the things about your work / relationships /health / financial situation / life in general that make you want to grin?
Start by listing three things that never fail to boost your mood (from a nice chat with a friend to singing at the top of your lungs in the car / shower):
1)
2)
3)
List the things that you're grateful for, not just today but going back as far as you can remember. Add to this list daily and also look out for patterns. What kind of activities / days / thoughts consistently make you happy?
Schedule them in so you have at least one on your To Do list every day. Bring more sunshine into your life all year round...
I love hearing how you're getting on so please keep your emails coming (eve@applecoaching.com).
All best wishes,
Eve
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
When the clouds cleared, entire fields of these beautiful yellow flowers blossomed. Sunflowers turn their heads to face the sun (I may well be the only person on the planet who only found this out last week) so they can absorb as much of its goodness - warmth and light - as possible.
We humans often overthink life, relationships and work. We end up giving problems and issues far more attention than all the good things in life. I was asked for a quote for a feature about gratitude this week (should appear in Zest - I'll put a pdf on my site when it's out). It's something that's really simple (although it takes discipline) but many people overlook it.
How can you shift your focus more towards the things about your work / relationships /health / financial situation / life in general that make you want to grin?
Start by listing three things that never fail to boost your mood (from a nice chat with a friend to singing at the top of your lungs in the car / shower):
1)
2)
3)
List the things that you're grateful for, not just today but going back as far as you can remember. Add to this list daily and also look out for patterns. What kind of activities / days / thoughts consistently make you happy?
Schedule them in so you have at least one on your To Do list every day. Bring more sunshine into your life all year round...
I love hearing how you're getting on so please keep your emails coming (eve@applecoaching.com).
All best wishes,
Eve
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008
Thursday, 22 May 2008
What do you do when the world feels a bit wobbly?
Have you ever had one of those days when the world feels it's spinning too fast? That the slightest false move might knock you right off the planet?
Often, it's just a sign that you need to be extra gentle with yourself. Beating yourself up over feeling hypersensitive will just make you feel worse.
So do something kind for yourself: Walk, watch a nice movie, take a hot bath (add some pink food colouring and bubbles for extra comfort), make yourself some hot chocolate, take some Rescue Remedy, phone or meet a friend, let it all out in your diary, do some EFT, lose yourself in a good book or book an afternoon / day / week off as a promise that you're going to take better care of your own needs...
If you're familiar enough with NLP, step "off" your timeline and "into the void". This is a bizarre sensation which will help you release any stresses before returning to real life feeling rested, refreshed and wise. (If you'd like to know more, email eve@applecoaching.com).
Even though you may be really busy with work or a family situation, the fact that things feel as if they're spiralling is a sign that you should try something different.
You'll be in a much better position to handle the fall out from that error / row when you've sorted yourself out. Taking yourself out of the stressful situation and treating yourself with compassion will give you the perspective you need to return to it later.
I'd love to hear how you get on.
And you can sign up for Confidence Coaching Tips straight to your inbox at www.applecoaching.com
Often, it's just a sign that you need to be extra gentle with yourself. Beating yourself up over feeling hypersensitive will just make you feel worse.
So do something kind for yourself: Walk, watch a nice movie, take a hot bath (add some pink food colouring and bubbles for extra comfort), make yourself some hot chocolate, take some Rescue Remedy, phone or meet a friend, let it all out in your diary, do some EFT, lose yourself in a good book or book an afternoon / day / week off as a promise that you're going to take better care of your own needs...
If you're familiar enough with NLP, step "off" your timeline and "into the void". This is a bizarre sensation which will help you release any stresses before returning to real life feeling rested, refreshed and wise. (If you'd like to know more, email eve@applecoaching.com).
Even though you may be really busy with work or a family situation, the fact that things feel as if they're spiralling is a sign that you should try something different.
You'll be in a much better position to handle the fall out from that error / row when you've sorted yourself out. Taking yourself out of the stressful situation and treating yourself with compassion will give you the perspective you need to return to it later.
I'd love to hear how you get on.
And you can sign up for Confidence Coaching Tips straight to your inbox at www.applecoaching.com
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Taking care of yourself
Coaching in Spain last week was really good. It was lovely to meet the participants and I'm looking forward to going to the second Spanish property (near Seville) at the end of next week.
Being away from the day to day commitments means there's more time to think about how things could be even better.
The daily yoga, Pilates and swimming was just what I needed, too.
One of the most challenging things about being a coach is putting into practice all the the things I know I would benefit from doing myself.
I'm endlessly talking to clients about prioritising their wellbeing so they don't burn out / end up resenting the people they love etc.
Yet I completely understand how it can be tough to do this. We're (especially women) often brought up to think of meeting our own (or even acknowledging our own) needs as selfish.
But when you take good care of yourself, everyone in your life - from your loved ones to colleagues, neighbours and even strangers in the street - will benefit.
Who do you find it hard to say "No" to? Do you ever catch yourself feeling like a martyr? By spending a few moments thinking about triggers that often lead to exhaustion and resentment, you'll be better able to take care of yourself in the future.
If you find the idea of caring for yourself to be challenging, I'd recommend reading Cheryl Richardson's wonderful books for pointers. She also has some Extreme Self Care cards which can help you get into the habit of looking after the most important person in your life - you.
To sign up for confidence tips straight to your inbox, please visit www.applecoaching.com
Being away from the day to day commitments means there's more time to think about how things could be even better.
The daily yoga, Pilates and swimming was just what I needed, too.
One of the most challenging things about being a coach is putting into practice all the the things I know I would benefit from doing myself.
I'm endlessly talking to clients about prioritising their wellbeing so they don't burn out / end up resenting the people they love etc.
Yet I completely understand how it can be tough to do this. We're (especially women) often brought up to think of meeting our own (or even acknowledging our own) needs as selfish.
But when you take good care of yourself, everyone in your life - from your loved ones to colleagues, neighbours and even strangers in the street - will benefit.
Who do you find it hard to say "No" to? Do you ever catch yourself feeling like a martyr? By spending a few moments thinking about triggers that often lead to exhaustion and resentment, you'll be better able to take care of yourself in the future.
If you find the idea of caring for yourself to be challenging, I'd recommend reading Cheryl Richardson's wonderful books for pointers. She also has some Extreme Self Care cards which can help you get into the habit of looking after the most important person in your life - you.
To sign up for confidence tips straight to your inbox, please visit www.applecoaching.com
Friday, 2 May 2008
Making the most of who you are - 100%
I'm heading off to Andalucia tonight to run the first of six week long coaching courses for www.Well-Being-Breaks.com
My weeks are themed "re-invent yourself" but it's really about making the best of the person you are.
No one should ever try to be anyone other than themselves. Often, you'll notice that the people you admire the most - whether they're people you know personally or performers, scientists, entrepreneurs, athletes or anyone else - are people who are 100% true to themselves.
If you weren't afraid of what other people might say about you, what would you be doing differently? Would you be more confident, assertive and creative at work? More loving and carefree at home?
Make a list of the people you admire and what it is you're particularly drawn to. I'm sure I'll think of loads of people later on when it's too late to add more, but to start my own list:
1) Oprah for knowing how to present all sorts of inspirational and entertaining information so it's accessible to lots of people.
2) The Dalai Lama for smiling and being a force for peace in spite of all he's endured.
3) Gloria Steinem for helping so many women and men recognise that "women are whole people, too" without being anti-men.
4) David Lynch for expressing himself so fully and confidently (even when, at the end of a film, I'm utterly clueless as to how it all makes sense, I love the way he just allows his visions to unfold).
5) Kathy Reichs, Pearl Cleage, Marian Keyes, Sara Paretsky, Sue Grafton and a million other fiction writers who, again, go with their imaginary worlds and follow them so completely, you feel like you're there when you read them...
Even if it's just for a few minutes, allow your mind to wander... What would you do differently today, this week, this year, if you allowed your intuition and gut to guide your every move instead of second guessing yourself?
List the ideas that crop up and see where it takes you...
I'd love to hear how you get on. You can email me at eve@applecoaching.com
And if you'd like free coaching tips by email, you can subscribe at www.applecoaching.com
My weeks are themed "re-invent yourself" but it's really about making the best of the person you are.
No one should ever try to be anyone other than themselves. Often, you'll notice that the people you admire the most - whether they're people you know personally or performers, scientists, entrepreneurs, athletes or anyone else - are people who are 100% true to themselves.
If you weren't afraid of what other people might say about you, what would you be doing differently? Would you be more confident, assertive and creative at work? More loving and carefree at home?
Make a list of the people you admire and what it is you're particularly drawn to. I'm sure I'll think of loads of people later on when it's too late to add more, but to start my own list:
1) Oprah for knowing how to present all sorts of inspirational and entertaining information so it's accessible to lots of people.
2) The Dalai Lama for smiling and being a force for peace in spite of all he's endured.
3) Gloria Steinem for helping so many women and men recognise that "women are whole people, too" without being anti-men.
4) David Lynch for expressing himself so fully and confidently (even when, at the end of a film, I'm utterly clueless as to how it all makes sense, I love the way he just allows his visions to unfold).
5) Kathy Reichs, Pearl Cleage, Marian Keyes, Sara Paretsky, Sue Grafton and a million other fiction writers who, again, go with their imaginary worlds and follow them so completely, you feel like you're there when you read them...
Even if it's just for a few minutes, allow your mind to wander... What would you do differently today, this week, this year, if you allowed your intuition and gut to guide your every move instead of second guessing yourself?
List the ideas that crop up and see where it takes you...
I'd love to hear how you get on. You can email me at eve@applecoaching.com
And if you'd like free coaching tips by email, you can subscribe at www.applecoaching.com
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