Why (if you do) do you wear make-up?

Is it a bit of fun or an effort to hide behind it?

You can read Cathy Winston's aol blog (with some tips from me) here - http://uk.stylelist.com/2010/03/15/are-you-caught-in-the-cosmetics-trap/

Employment special - Be open to opportunities

I was on Sadie Nine's BBC Essex show this afternoon offering coaching advice for callers and listeners who had been made redundant / felt insecure in existing jobs / wanted a change etc.

No matter how unplanned your current situation, take back control. It's easy and natural to feel disempowered when changes are afoot in your company or even industry.

But there's probably not a great deal that you, personally, can do to make the whole field safer.

What you can do is focus on your own situation.

. keep your CV up to date
. read business pages
. update your skills by enrolling in an evening class
. tell your friends, family and acquaintances about the kind of work you're looking for (not in a desperate way but in a proactive way). The more you can share about this work, the more likely they are to think of you when someone mentions an opening
. practice your interview skills. If it's been a long time since your last one, practice role playing with friends / family

The more you can keep your focus on your outcome (finding work you love which also pays well) and the more positive you can be, the easier it will be to spot opportunities. You'll also come across as a more appealing candidate.

I'll share more coaching tips in my newsletter on Wednesday (you can sign up via my website if you don't already get them).

And if you'd like to listen to the employment special, I was on from 2.45-3.45pm today (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/mainframe.shtml?http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/essex.shtml)

Good luck!

© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.

How personally do you take things?

Even if you're the type of person feels responsible for absolutely everything, you can still learn to distance yourself. (As an "Eve" who was raised as a Catholic, I used to take on far more than my fair share of guilt.)

So instead of thinking that there's nothing you can do to change things, start thinking about the times when you notice it most.

Are you prone to oversensitivity when an issue has to do with your work? Family? Relationships? Or maybe any mention of your children is potentially explosive?

Start paying attention to any criticism (real, implied or even imagined) that you feel. Take a step back (emotionally if you can't do it physically) and simply ask yourself:

1) Does the person criticising have their own agenda which has absolutely nothing to do with me?

2) Is this something I feel that needs work?

3) Have other people ever said anything similar? (Even if this is the case, it's possible that they all had an agenda)

I'm not suggesting you ignore people's attempts to help you when that's what they're doing. But stop letting people's opinions run your life. As the old saying goes: "What other people think of me is none of my business".

By questioning criticism before absorbing it and deciding whether or not you choose to take it on board, you're immediately taking the sting out of it. And even if you decide to act on it, you'll be in a much stronger position.

© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008.