How personally do you take things?

Even if you're the type of person feels responsible for absolutely everything, you can still learn to distance yourself. (As an "Eve" who was raised as a Catholic, I used to take on far more than my fair share of guilt.)

So instead of thinking that there's nothing you can do to change things, start thinking about the times when you notice it most.

Are you prone to oversensitivity when an issue has to do with your work? Family? Relationships? Or maybe any mention of your children is potentially explosive?

Start paying attention to any criticism (real, implied or even imagined) that you feel. Take a step back (emotionally if you can't do it physically) and simply ask yourself:

1) Does the person criticising have their own agenda which has absolutely nothing to do with me?

2) Is this something I feel that needs work?

3) Have other people ever said anything similar? (Even if this is the case, it's possible that they all had an agenda)

I'm not suggesting you ignore people's attempts to help you when that's what they're doing. But stop letting people's opinions run your life. As the old saying goes: "What other people think of me is none of my business".

By questioning criticism before absorbing it and deciding whether or not you choose to take it on board, you're immediately taking the sting out of it. And even if you decide to act on it, you'll be in a much stronger position.

© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2008.