I'm nearly sorted for Kenya now. Can't believe how quickly it's come around.
Sometimes, the preparation for time out of the office (not to mention prepping for all the things I'll need while away) seems overwhelming but I know it'll be worth it.
This blog will return when I get back in a few weeks.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Friday, 27 February 2009
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
How do other people see you?
Yesterday, it seemed that everything I watched on TV had something to do with impersonations.
When Tina Fey was interviewed by Oprah about her infamous Sarah Palin impressions on Saturday Night Live she made it clear that she didn't want to be mean spirited about it (Palin was a good sport in going on SNL and some people worried that the impressions were actually boosting her ratings).
I almost cried with laughter watching Hilary Swank on Ellen. She bounded out and instead of greeting the host, she pretended to be the host. Sporting an Ellen-like hair cut from a film role (Amelia Earhart), she'd dressed as Ellen for Hallowe'en (we see it later in the UK). She bounded out and did the Ellen dance and the Ellen wave.
Ellen said she'd had no idea she looked so surprised like that.
Jon Stewart was also filmed reacting to John Oliver's impression of him as former Oscar host on The Daily Show. This impression had a little bit of meaness but Jon Stewart recognised that his job involves it, and, again, took it with good grace.
I don't like mean impressions but when they're affectionate, they can be hilarious.
They can also give us clues into the way we act in the world. Assuming you're not famous and don't see impersonator's versions of you on a regular basis, you could still think about the mannerisms, expressions (facial and verbal) and so on that are part of you.
Does anything stand out as something you'd like to drop? Is there anything you'd even want to exagerate?
You may even choose to get together with a group of trusted friends and "play" each other to build awareness of all the things you're so used to doing, you don't notice them.
By impersonating someone else, you might also hit on a way to tap into a more sociable, confident, fun, athletic or other you.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
When Tina Fey was interviewed by Oprah about her infamous Sarah Palin impressions on Saturday Night Live she made it clear that she didn't want to be mean spirited about it (Palin was a good sport in going on SNL and some people worried that the impressions were actually boosting her ratings).
I almost cried with laughter watching Hilary Swank on Ellen. She bounded out and instead of greeting the host, she pretended to be the host. Sporting an Ellen-like hair cut from a film role (Amelia Earhart), she'd dressed as Ellen for Hallowe'en (we see it later in the UK). She bounded out and did the Ellen dance and the Ellen wave.
Ellen said she'd had no idea she looked so surprised like that.
Jon Stewart was also filmed reacting to John Oliver's impression of him as former Oscar host on The Daily Show. This impression had a little bit of meaness but Jon Stewart recognised that his job involves it, and, again, took it with good grace.
I don't like mean impressions but when they're affectionate, they can be hilarious.
They can also give us clues into the way we act in the world. Assuming you're not famous and don't see impersonator's versions of you on a regular basis, you could still think about the mannerisms, expressions (facial and verbal) and so on that are part of you.
Does anything stand out as something you'd like to drop? Is there anything you'd even want to exagerate?
You may even choose to get together with a group of trusted friends and "play" each other to build awareness of all the things you're so used to doing, you don't notice them.
By impersonating someone else, you might also hit on a way to tap into a more sociable, confident, fun, athletic or other you.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Monday, 23 February 2009
Innoculations for the heart
I've just had my final jab before I head off to Kenya next week.
I'm always alarmed when the nurse explains the risks of various diseases. A little part of me actually contemplates staying home.
But I know it'll be worth it and I'm really looking forward to seeing the country my mother was born and raised in (as well as to having a couple of weeks' holiday).
It made me think about life experiences like marriage, parenting and so many other things we risk as humans.
If people focused only on the scary aspects (something unthinkable happening to a child, betrayal and so on), the species would have died out a long, long time ago. No one would ever allow themselves to fall in love or to have children.
Is there something you're pushing away in your own life? It may be a risk to do with work or a creative venture or love... think about it.
In most emotional situations, there is no innoculation for the heart. But by surrounding your life with as much love as possible (supportive friends and family as well as the love and encouragement you can learn to give yourself), whatever happens will be easier to handle.
Sure, certain things will still hurt. A lot.
But it doesn't have to be deadly.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
I'm always alarmed when the nurse explains the risks of various diseases. A little part of me actually contemplates staying home.
But I know it'll be worth it and I'm really looking forward to seeing the country my mother was born and raised in (as well as to having a couple of weeks' holiday).
It made me think about life experiences like marriage, parenting and so many other things we risk as humans.
If people focused only on the scary aspects (something unthinkable happening to a child, betrayal and so on), the species would have died out a long, long time ago. No one would ever allow themselves to fall in love or to have children.
Is there something you're pushing away in your own life? It may be a risk to do with work or a creative venture or love... think about it.
In most emotional situations, there is no innoculation for the heart. But by surrounding your life with as much love as possible (supportive friends and family as well as the love and encouragement you can learn to give yourself), whatever happens will be easier to handle.
Sure, certain things will still hurt. A lot.
But it doesn't have to be deadly.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
Friday, 20 February 2009
Giving yourself time and space
It may seem self indulgent, but if you don't allow yourself the time and space you need alone, you may end up feeling just as cranky as if you were sleep or food deprived.
Pay attention next time you find yourself:
. growing irritable with someone you care about
. feeling enraged on the roads (or even at the checkout)
. wanting to scream with frustration because you're on hold for just a minute or two
Give yourself a break and life's frustrations will no longer feel so major. And don't get cross with yourself for being human, just recognise it as your body's way of telling you to give yourself a break before you do anything you might regret.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Pay attention next time you find yourself:
. growing irritable with someone you care about
. feeling enraged on the roads (or even at the checkout)
. wanting to scream with frustration because you're on hold for just a minute or two
Give yourself a break and life's frustrations will no longer feel so major. And don't get cross with yourself for being human, just recognise it as your body's way of telling you to give yourself a break before you do anything you might regret.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
Choosing the way you see things
I'm (along with every other coach in the world, probably) constantly reminding clients (and myself) that while we can't choose what happens to us, we can choose our reaction.
I've heard some amazing examples of people choosing happiness in the face of incredible odds and this beats all:
Matt and Ginny chose to see each moment they had with their very sick little son as a blessing. They celebrated every day they had with him and seemed devoid of any bitterness.
How lucky for little Eliot to be born into such an amazing family for his short life. I can't really say anymore but the video says it all:
http://www.oprah.com/media/20081001_tows_99balloons
(I cry at anything, but seriously, you'll probably need tissues.)
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
I've heard some amazing examples of people choosing happiness in the face of incredible odds and this beats all:
Matt and Ginny chose to see each moment they had with their very sick little son as a blessing. They celebrated every day they had with him and seemed devoid of any bitterness.
How lucky for little Eliot to be born into such an amazing family for his short life. I can't really say anymore but the video says it all:
http://www.oprah.com/media/20081001_tows_99balloons
(I cry at anything, but seriously, you'll probably need tissues.)
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
Monday, 16 February 2009
Employment special - Be open to opportunities
I was on Sadie Nine's BBC Essex show this afternoon offering coaching advice for callers and listeners who had been made redundant / felt insecure in existing jobs / wanted a change etc.
No matter how unplanned your current situation, take back control. It's easy and natural to feel disempowered when changes are afoot in your company or even industry.
But there's probably not a great deal that you, personally, can do to make the whole field safer.
What you can do is focus on your own situation.
. keep your CV up to date
. read business pages
. update your skills by enrolling in an evening class
. tell your friends, family and acquaintances about the kind of work you're looking for (not in a desperate way but in a proactive way). The more you can share about this work, the more likely they are to think of you when someone mentions an opening
. practice your interview skills. If it's been a long time since your last one, practice role playing with friends / family
The more you can keep your focus on your outcome (finding work you love which also pays well) and the more positive you can be, the easier it will be to spot opportunities. You'll also come across as a more appealing candidate.
I'll share more coaching tips in my newsletter on Wednesday (you can sign up via my website if you don't already get them).
And if you'd like to listen to the employment special, I was on from 2.45-3.45pm today (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/mainframe.shtml?http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/essex.shtml)
Good luck!
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
No matter how unplanned your current situation, take back control. It's easy and natural to feel disempowered when changes are afoot in your company or even industry.
But there's probably not a great deal that you, personally, can do to make the whole field safer.
What you can do is focus on your own situation.
. keep your CV up to date
. read business pages
. update your skills by enrolling in an evening class
. tell your friends, family and acquaintances about the kind of work you're looking for (not in a desperate way but in a proactive way). The more you can share about this work, the more likely they are to think of you when someone mentions an opening
. practice your interview skills. If it's been a long time since your last one, practice role playing with friends / family
The more you can keep your focus on your outcome (finding work you love which also pays well) and the more positive you can be, the easier it will be to spot opportunities. You'll also come across as a more appealing candidate.
I'll share more coaching tips in my newsletter on Wednesday (you can sign up via my website if you don't already get them).
And if you'd like to listen to the employment special, I was on from 2.45-3.45pm today (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/mainframe.shtml?http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/essex.shtml)
Good luck!
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.
Friday, 13 February 2009
Rejected: Tales of the Failed, Dumped and Canceled
I ordered this book based on the title alone.
When I started coaching, most of my clients were writers. While we face more rejection than many people, everyone on the planet has to deal with it.
(And it's not like being a musician, dancer, actor or model where you have to take the rejection in person and thank them for the opportunity rather than slump into a heap on the stage and weep openly).
I've only dipped into this book so far (am looking forward to reading it properly soon) but it's very entertaining. Many of the contributors are comedy writers.
And I imagine writing about their humiliation brought its own healing.
Next time you're in a situation where you feel rejected, distance yourself from it a little. Instead of allowing yourself to feel all the pain before you're ready, ask yourself how you might spin it for a laugh as you tell your partner / friend / mum later on.
Then remember whatever it was you set out to do (get a job that pays well and feels fulfilling / get published / onstage etc.) and keep going.
Keep seeking and applying for every possible opportunity. Build up those rejection muscles and let them make you stronger.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
When I started coaching, most of my clients were writers. While we face more rejection than many people, everyone on the planet has to deal with it.
(And it's not like being a musician, dancer, actor or model where you have to take the rejection in person and thank them for the opportunity rather than slump into a heap on the stage and weep openly).
I've only dipped into this book so far (am looking forward to reading it properly soon) but it's very entertaining. Many of the contributors are comedy writers.
And I imagine writing about their humiliation brought its own healing.
Next time you're in a situation where you feel rejected, distance yourself from it a little. Instead of allowing yourself to feel all the pain before you're ready, ask yourself how you might spin it for a laugh as you tell your partner / friend / mum later on.
Then remember whatever it was you set out to do (get a job that pays well and feels fulfilling / get published / onstage etc.) and keep going.
Keep seeking and applying for every possible opportunity. Build up those rejection muscles and let them make you stronger.
© Eve Menezes Cunningham / www.applecoaching.com 2009.
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