The confidence to be yourself

On Sadie's show today (to listen, please visit http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/radio/bbc_radio_essex/ and choose Friday, 19th February, noon to 2pm), things got quite controversial.

We had the most calls about Elton John's statement about Jesus being kind, intelligent and gay. Was this offensive to Christians?

My views seemed to be in the minority. When I was initially given the story to read, the only offence I felt was that David Furnish was referred to as Elton's "husband" (the quotation marks make it sound like it's not quite as real a relationship as the reporter's is or would be).

But as I thought about it, I became increasingly pleased on behalf of all the kids growing up (and adults who still fear this) being told that they would literally Go To Hell because of who they love.

On Ellen, Ellen Degeneres said something like "No one ever gives you a card or cake saying 'Good for you, you're gay!'" when her charater was struggling to come out. Apparently, after that episode wrapped, the crew and cast wheeled out an enormous cake saying "Good for you, you're gay!"

How can any kind of love be wrong?

We all need people to look up to. I'm no longer Catholic partly because there were so few women in the story (and those that were mentioned were either too saintly for me to even dream about emulating or, like my namesake, responsible for the downfall of humanity).

I'm Indian / Irish and remember being confused as a child by Jesus and Mary's blue eyes and blond hair. For the part of the world they were said to come from, surely they'd have been much darker?

Yet I understand the need for people in this part of the world to have rewritten history, as it were, and create images that reflected them so they could feel closer somehow.

My parents did their best to counter this kind of unconscious stereotyping (pale good, dark bad etc.) but seeing more mixed race role models around as I've got older (though I still sometimes feel like an oddity with the Indian Irish combo) has had a healthy impact on my own self esteem.

The idea that kids growing up confused about their sexuality (or sure about it but feeling that it isn't OK) and then being told that they're wrong hurts my heart.

I wish we could treat everyone with respect and try to see where people we don't understand are coming from. Having said that, I'm a little anxious in case this post and what I said on air offends any Christians. Not to mention potential offence caused to people of all the religions we didn't mention.

Whether you're a woman trying to break through a barrier at work, a stay at home father struggling to find acceptance at the school gate when or anyone not fully in the mainstream, I hope you'll find the confidence to keep on being you.