The Thought Police - Part 2

Funnily enough, we were talking about apologies on Sadie Nine's show (click here to listen and choose Saturday lunchtime http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/mainframe.shtml?http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/essex.shtml) this weekend.

I was very much in the minority (a few callers called me the Thought Police and one called me worse) but stand by what I said: I think the world would be a much nicer place if, instead of waiting until something affects us personally to take offense, we use our empathy skills to think, "You know what, I didn't mean to cause offence there but completely see how it might have seemed like I did and I'm sorry."

Sure, bullying toughens some people up but in many cases, it leaves scars (or worse) that can last forever.

I want to live in a world where people feel able to stand up for themselves when people are unkind to them.

But not everyone has unshakable self confidence or a safety net at home where they can talk through those hurt feelings and be assured that they're not inherently wrong themselves.

So I feel we all have a duty to stand up for people who may not feel confident enough to stand up for themselves.

That doesn't mean that I think we should decide that we know better than others what should be considered offensive. And I don't think that the Carol Thatcher thing should have been leaked or sold to the press. A quiet word would have been much better.

We all have our own hot spots. People who barely bat an eyelid at racist, sexist or homophobic remarks become sensitive when someone says something about a disability (or the other way around).

But if we think about it, I'm sure we can all remember times when we felt unable, for whatever reason, to stand up for ourselves. Maybe we were the only woman or man in a group etc.

Hopefully, we can all learn to express ourselves more kindly and learn from each other.

© Eve Menezes Cunningham / http://www.applecoaching.com/ 2009.